Why Am I the Only One Giving?

I frequently hear variations of this concern while speaking about living drama-free.

Burnout happens when we are giving to others because:

  • we think it is expected of us
  • we have always been worried about pleasing others
  • we are not taking care of ourselves
  • we have not set clear boundaries
  • we have strings attached to our giving
  • we have never learned to receive from others

For a period in my own life I “played the martyr,” complaining to my husband about everything I was doing. He woke me up by saying, “Then please stop. No one needs what you are doing. We  need your heart.”

Serving from guilt, self-imposed expectations, or psychological need is not only not satisfying, it is not love, and, doesn’t feel like love to others either.

Caring-is-Real31-683x1024   self care








6 thoughts on “Why Am I the Only One Giving?

  1. Big realization! Sometimes we think we are helping by doing all we are expected of, but if it makes us unhappy, we are helping noone!

  2. This is a topic that hits home for me. How did you manage to recover?


    • What a great question. Recovery came down to self-love which I had never had much of. I decided to quit depending on what others thought of me and start parenting myself. One turning point was Tony Robbin’s suggestion to change my “primary question.” Formerly, I measured the value of my existence by the evidence of my contribution to others. I discovered my primary question was, “How can I make a difference?” By changing my question to “How can I appreciate the difference I am already making?” I fought off all the self-doubt and embraced the irreplaceable value of every being…which included me. Now, my morning routine is to “breathe in” that freeing revelation; “I am here for a reason. I am a valuable and unique creation of my loving creator. I have already made a significant impact by being here, by loving, by seeing, by surrendering to the mystery.” Now, I don’t have to ride the roller-coaster of feeling appreciated or being in control of other’s action. I can release them all because I have already found my plateau. I hope that answers the question. So nice to hear from you.

  3. That’s a very nice way to look at it. Starting with an awareness of now is the best way for a better tomorrow. Thanks for the thoughtful answer.

  4. We’re in this together! Thanks for sharing the ride.

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