When Kindness Backfires

Late in the game, I realized my mother (with Alzheimer’s) didn’t welcome my help if it came with…

  • condescension
  • judgment
  • over-lording
  • impatience

and without…

  • careful listening
  • no-strings attached love
  • sincere care and appreciation for her as a human being
  • gentleness and patience

My attempts at kindness missed the mark if I…

  • arrogantly assumed I knew what she needed
  • imposed my own preferences upon her
  • did not take the time to see and honor her as my equal

Instead of adjusting, I could have…

  • decided it was no use
  • become bitter and angry
  • allowed myself to be depleted and defeated

If I had, I would have missed the point.

ann frank

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