I never bought the notion that kids misbehave because they want attention. When I “misbehaved” at home or at work, it was because I didn’t know how to win; I was frustrated, desperately trying to figure out some way to survive.
I lied in an attempt to avoid the bad version of my mother.
I cried and threw tantrums at home because I felt hopeless.
I became sarcastic and oppositional at work because I felt like a victim and didn’t know how to take control of my own destiny.
It wasn’t attention I needed, it was hope.
Unravel confusion for difficult people by answering these questions for us:
1. How do I win?
2. What’s on your wish list for me?
3. What are the unwritten rules that you assume I understand?