Guaranteed Ways to Shrink Your Life


  1. Do the same thing you did yesterday, and the day before, and the day before…
  2. Take yourself too seriously
  3. Quit reading
  4. Refuse to forgive
  5. Talk about all the things you are unhappy about
  6. Tell everyone about the people you hate and what they did to you
  7. Quit asking questions about how you can improve
  8. Only care about the people from whom you have something to gain
  9. Decide you are smarter than everyone you know
  10. Worry about dying

It’s sad enough to think about you shrinking: even sadder to think about the life you are sucking out of everyone else as you shrink. 




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