If we traced our pain back to it’s origins, we would find that many of our malfunctions started with an inability to make people and events conform to our expectations. They messed up our picture of how things were supposed to be! How dare they!
I couldn’t get what I wanted.
I couldn’t make my kids be what I needed them to be.
I couldn’t make someone love me how I needed to be loved.
I couldn’t make people accept me.
I couldn’t persuade someone (or my hair) to do the “right” thing.
I got angry, disillusioned, or depressed. I felt alone, powerless, or insignificant. I raged or I lied. I hurt people.
I hurt myself.
“If you want to save your life, lose it.” – Jesus