My nephew was hurt to know that his grandfather never held him or really noticed him when he was a baby. I tried to explain that it wasn’t about him, it was, rather, about my father’s “inability to see” due to preoccupation with himself.
My nephew acted indignant until I reminded him of our own tendency to be self-absorbed. Time and wear narrows the scope of any person who doesn’t cultivate “the ability to see” beyond their own needs and concerns.
Actively practicing concern for others prevents this “ability to see” from diminishing with age.