I get irritated when people hog the airspace and go on and on about themselves, but I dutifully pretend to care…and…ask them questions with the hope that they may reciprocate. They usually don’t.
Today I realized that my pretending to care was not really caring and my “polite” questions were not really questions, but merely prompts so that I could talk about myself. So, maybe the other person has work to do, but it looks like I have some too. Busted!
“Real” questions are not launching pads for my own judgment or my own performance, but conduits of connection to another soul.