Why “I Understand” Is Not Enough

If we want someone to hear our side of the story, we can’t start with it. We must start with their side of the story, so they know we get it.

If someone communicates to me in this manner, I find no need to defend myself (because they are defending me) and I can listen to the other side of the story with ease.

For example, if someone felt as if we had disrespected them when, we feel they misunderstood us and were overreacting, the following would get us the best result…

  1. I understand that you felt disrespected.
  2. I never want you to feel disrespected.
  3. I am so sorry that you had to go through that experience.
  4. (Then (and only then), the other side of the story)

If, instead, we merely say, “I understand,” be prepared for the other person to roll their eyes.

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s