Ever wonder why we love to hear about the rich and famous getting caught doing something wrong?
“An envious heart makes a treacherous ear.” – Zora Neale Hurston
In her book, Their Eyes Were Watching God, Hurston hits an uncomfortable bullseye with this observation. We don’t like to admit envy drives our gossip-hunger, yet it often does. If we want to break the “treacherous ear habit” we’ll have to want for “our neighbor” what we want for ourselves, which, by the way, isn’t humiliation. “No,” you might say, “It is justice that drives me.” Maybe so. Yet, according to our own preferences when we screw up, mercy feels much better than judgment.
So, it is probably the safer choice (for our own future misfortunes) not to rejoice in others’ failures.
I used to get angry at people who told me I could do more with my life.
Easy for them to say! How dare they imply I was not a victim of my unfortunate circumstances?!
I now have proof that I had free access to unlimited power and was only limited by my own limiting beliefs.
Tesla’s story encourages me to rise above myself and the opinions of others; to choose the higher energy, frequency, and vibration.
There is much more to us and our influence than meets the eye…or public opinion.
Recently, a group told me that self-awareness was the way to know if our ego was the problem in a team. Good answer.
But, how can we know if we are truly self-aware when our egos are so protective?
This Eckhart Tolle quote boils it down and provides crystal-clear illumination to the true origin of thoughts and actions, allowing us to be honest:
It is easy to see that innumerable conflicts, carnage, and pain occur when decisions are driven by the ego of world leaders.
It is also true in my personal history that ego has caused many avoidable troubles.
Globally or personally…
When people feel inferior, they say and do stupid sh*# to protect themselves.
When people feel superior, they say and do stupid sh*# ignoring the protection of others.
Everyone is critical of how negative and inefficient TV news is, but most of us…
- spend the majority of our conscious hours focused on what’s going wrong in the world rather than what’s going right
- have too many “commercial” breaks for shameless self-promotion or ego-driven side lines
- are more show than substance
It is no accident TV news became what it is. It’s driven by human nature.
If we want something more, we must become something more. More noble. More courageous. More grateful.
“We are all differently broken, semi-functional, rusted out love machines.” – Hank Green
Love machines because…
- we are fueled by love
- we can dispense love
- we (consciously or unconsciously) seek love
Differently broken because…
- life brought a plethora of seemingly random mishaps and tragedies
- love broke each of us in uniquely painful ways
- we were irrationally rigid when we should have been flexible
- we don’t comprehend others’ points of view
- we can be irritatingly stubborn, slow adapters of helpful information and insight
- we are scared of failure, getting burned, rejection, our emotions, and being out of control
Rusted out because…
- we have under-loved
- (and over-focused on things that seemed more important but weren’t)
- we gave up too often and settled for love substitutes
Happy V-Day and thanks, Hank!
R U OK? is an Australian not-for-profit suicide-prevention organization founded by Gavin Larkin in 2009.
I love this a-conversation-could-change-a-life initiative as I love its US counterpart of Hi, How Are You? Day.
Today, in the States, Hi, How Are You? Day reminds us to show genuine concern for “how people really are.”
Because “How are you?” is too often a mere rhetorical question rather than an expression of a legitimate desire to know, being willing to ask the deeply sincere version and really listen (rather than talk) can be a life-saver for those who struggle with suicide ideation.
Not being too busy or too frightened to take such an initiative is the critical point.
I hope many will find “we are ear” for them today.
At the beginning of 2018, I decided I was sick and tired of hearing myself complain about my weight (which I had been doing for many years). I made a plan: try Weight Watchers or hypnosis. I had tried everything else. Counting calories since I was 18 years old, I thought I knew everything about weight loss.
I reluctantly enrolled in a WW program that would pay me back if I lost 10 lbs. in two months. That was not a resolution, it was a challenge. And, I wanted to win it.
To my surprise, it was fun and rewarding. I didn’t have to starve myself. I learned new tricks and new habits, got my money back, and started 2019 at my lowest weight since High School! Who knew I loved winning more than I loved wine?
We constantly explain others’ behavior by making up stories about who they are and why they do what they do. Its much easier to think people are just plain idiots or jerks rather than people with scars, such as ourselves, who make mistakes or who are just trying to get by with limited courage, insight, or character-development.
I am not advocating naivete or letting others take advantage of us, but. since we are all making up stories anyway, why shouldn’t we try out the good ones before the bad ones?
I certainly appreciate that kind of mercy when I am a character in the story.
I challenge you to try. Let’s see how much less angst, anger, and frustration we can have just by starting with mercy in 2019.
(Modified original post from 2013)
Remember Pearl Harbor.
Remember those entombed in the sunken ships who were never rescued.
Remember to care about those who “are tapping” today all around the world, waiting for rescue.
Remember to use your gifts to alleviate suffering…wherever it is.
Remember that we are all in this together, looking for hope.
Don’t wait ’til someone dies
To say of them something nice
To give them appreciation
Versus the ubiquitous smirk or shrug
(All could use a little love)
Don’t wait ’til people die
To appreciate their unique lives
And what they have done best
Instead of judging all the many things
They were not…as very human beings
I wasn’t a big George H. W. Bush fan while he was president. I probably should have appreciated his character more and criticized a bit (or a lot) less.