When we are freaking out and taking ourselves too seriously…
(Yeah, right. Like that will work. But, it may be worth a try anyway.)
Admittedly, it is seriously difficult (and sometimes impossible) to keep someone else from freaking out and taking themselves too seriously.
Yet statistics show…okay, well, my personal history validates…that lightening up only happens when a state change occurs.
And state changes don’t occur without a radical shift of focus. Here are some things that shift my focus:
- getting hit in the face with ice cold water
- getting pushed out of an airplane
- tornado sirens
- reading the right book, helping someone, or watching cat videos
After programming the app with my destination and checking the arrival time, it would be ridiculous to:
- ignore the technology and micromanage my trip
- know all the turns I would have to take before it was necessary to take them
- worry about how long each step would take
Because the end result had already been programmed!
And so it is with a life.
- trust the process
- quit being a control freak
- fully use my resources, and
- enjoy the ride
I love this quote because it describes the state of affairs of a radically finite (and often confusing) existence, and reminds me to take it all in stride.
For the ultimate peaceful journey through this planet, I must…
- Expect to be bewildered
- Refuse to get cocky about what I think I know
- Go with the unresolved, uncertain, and disruptive
- Ranting about how other people and events don’t comply with my preconceived ideas and ideals
- Guarding my intellectual turf
- Disagreeing with reality
Thanks Joseph Campbell for the delightful signpost along the path of discovery.
There are good reasons I never changed.
Rules are rules. Mine are set so that…
- Your advice goes to spam
- New opportunities go to spam
- Hope goes to spam
- Anything that causes discomfort goes to spam
- Anything that requires change or action goes to spam
- Anything that speeds up my heart rate goes to spam
But…wait a minute…I didn’t know the Universe was trying to reach me…if only I had known…but…
- It seemed ludicrous
- I never got it
- I thought it was not for me
- I assumed it was a hoax
- I was afraid
Now and then I must get a healthy dose of Anne Lamott’s raw take on the truth.
Similar to Anne Lamott, I spent too much time rejecting the wild and messy part of me. Once I gave that wild and messy part a great big hug, the marvelous part came out of hiding…and made it easier for me to love the wild and messy part of the people who were bothering me.
We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were born to be. – Anne Lamott
I love this Thanksgiving cartoon because it reminds me that friends and associates (who value us) are often not saying what we need to hear. Maybe they have tried before and we have:
- blown up
- gotten our feelings hurt
- given them clear indications that their honesty will not be rewarded
In order to get helpful truth from those with whom we live and work, we must make a commitment to…
- ask frequently for feedback
- prepare for uncomfortable info
- honor truth-tellers instead of justifying our behaviors
- say “thank you”
- make changes based on feedback
It’s easy to talk self-improvement, hard to demonstrate it.
Here’s to a day of revelations and corrective actions!
Happy Thanksgiving, by the way!
(Original post 2017)
Scare up some happiness with…
- compliments instead of criticism
- forgiveness instead of grudges
- compassion instead of complaints
- attention instead of indifference
For those of us who may accidentally take people for granted, don’t be surprised if they first think it is a trick instead of a treat. 😉 Change can be really scary.
A palm reader once told me I have a long lifeline and will live to triple digits.
So when I complained yesterday about how many years I’ve wasted going down the wrong road on a project (as an excuse for giving up), I was bluntly told, “You have over a third of your life remaining, so get busy!”
Nothing like being hit with a bucket of ice-water.
Well alrighty, then.
On the other hand (so to speak), if the palm reader was wrong, I won’t be wrong by taking action toward what I know is right, or toward my calling, or toward a risk worth taking, right?
Notice to my children and husband:
If my life is over prematurely, please finish my project.
Years ago I was driving to work wishing I would get hit by a truck.
I went to a therapist and she said I was suicidal.
I said, “That’s not suicidal. That is wishful thinking. Suicidal is driving into the truck on the wrong side of the road.”
The therapist wasn’t convinced. She told me that I was either going to change what I was doing or spend my 401K on an institution.
She had a good point.
So, after a few more weeks (or months) of misery, I changed my “safe” routine and now wonder how I could have ever been so frightened of change.
Today, life is the adventure I had always hoped it would be.
Thank God for good counselors.
“…ride the flow of your existence and allow it to be your ally.” – Wayne Dyer
As a surfer masters a wave, my best chance today is to recognize and honor the mysteriously, unknowable power all around me and work with it.
Why would I want to miss that joy by…
- telling it to stop?
- running from it?
- asking it why?
- ignoring it?
- arguing with it about my preferences?