Which Is More Powerful? The Surfer or the Wave?

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“…ride the flow of your existence and allow it to be your ally.” – Wayne Dyer

As a surfer masters a wave, my best chance today is to recognize and honor the mysteriously, unknowable power all around me and work with it.

Why would I want to miss that joy by…

  • telling it to stop?
  • running from it?
  • asking it why?
  • ignoring it?
  • arguing with it about my preferences?

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Screw-Ups R Us

Not one of us is immune from our own royal screw-ups, yet we still tend to have such a holier-than-thou, how-dare-you attitude when someone else screws up.

Seems we could save a lot of wasted breath and unjustified righteous indignation if we…

  • just admitted we are trying to divert attention from our own embarrassing mistakes
  • quit trying to pretend we are all that
  • quit believing our sins are any less reprehensible than those of the next guy

People who do not carry around a “sense of injury” are much more pleasant to be around.

To work on this quality:

Step one: 

Quit saying “I would never do something like that.”

Step two:

Accept and expect that screw-ups are part of the human-in-training plan.

Or…

Laugh Out The Grief

A friend told me about a continuing education class where a man popped in at the back of the room to say he was leading a Grief Support Group next door. The other leader, suddenly aware of how loud and how often his class had been laughing, immediately apologized for being insensitive and disrespectful.

The other man replied, “On the contrary, my students were wanting to know if they could come join your class.”

 

The faster we can find something at which we can laugh out loud, the more quickly we will heal our inner pain.

Political journalist, Norman Cousins helped heal himself of a very painful disease with a healthy dose of daily laughter. Check out the amazing story in his book, Anatomy of an Illness.

Want Less Regret?

If I want to have less regret at 3 in the morning, or when I am at the brink of death, or while fading away in a nursing home, I’ll have to start now to follow a few simple rules:

  1. Stop, breathe, and think before I blurt.
  2. Stand back, ask questions, and examine other perspectives before letting anger and fear dominate me.
  3. Say “Yes!” more often than “No!” to strange, new ideas.
  4. Show more love to everyone and everything.

I’ve probably wasted at least a third of my life ranting about things and people I didn’t like, raging against those whom I perceived as opponents, resisting reality, and, then trying to rectify or reverse my immature over-reactions.

That’s a lot of wasted time and energy!

 

Until I Am Willing to Be Changed by You

According to Alan Alda, “I am not relating and listening well enough until I am willing to be changed by the person who is talking.”

What??? You mean I can’t be impatient to say my part? Or, roll my eyes, or think about what I need to do while you are talking?

This is such the opposite of what I usually want to do, which is to change or mold the other person around my own ideas and perceptions.

Totally brings my routine to a grounding halt!

But, I tried it yesterday and…

  • learned something
  • made the other person feel heard
  • broke down barriers and the tension that had prevented communication in the past

WANTED: Immediate Opening

Where do I apply? How hard can it be?

When it feels like no one is minding the store, somebody has to do the job. And, the way we talk, you’d think we could do a better job, right?

But, here’s a thought: when our lives go caddywampus, rather than spending time railing against the seeming lack of God in the universe, maybe it would be better if we simply tried to fill the (perceived) empty position instead, doing merciful “God stuff” for each other.

Oh, man, what does God require of thee but to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly?

Or, we can be an April Fool and keep telling God what to do.

I Am Enough. You Are Not.

I am enough not because you failed and that makes me feel better about my own success

I am enough not because I didn’t get caught doing something that you were caught doing

I am enough not because I have the power to make you feel small

I am enough not because I have more friends, money, education, talent, smart kids, hair, or possessions than you have

I am enough not because I embrace diversity and you don’t

I am enough not because I care about animals and the poor and you don’t

I am enough not because you are a narcissist and I am not

I am enough not because I make you appear to be less

I am enough.

You are enough.