Loving the Questions

I love hanging around people who know they don’t know as much as they once thought they knew and are completely okay with it.

What a relief to enjoy someone’s company without having to navigate around insecurities, posturing, or pontificating.

And what a thrill to share conversation with someone who understands that questioning themselves and their suppositions is a very good thing!

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“Don’t Let Me Get Me”

Today, I listened to colleagues tell tragic story after tragic story from their emergency room experiences. Most of the stories involved self-inflicted injuries. As I listened to the sheer insanity of it all, I thought of how powerful our mind is to confuse and mislead.  I thought of the dark times that I had experienced and the thought patterns that took me there.

What a powerful reminder to choose with reverence the thoughts and words that will lodge into my subconscious, so to lead myself into harmony and not into confusion, boredom, despair, or discord.

When Einstein was trudging through his work on relativity, he said he would have to stop and play his violin until he could reconnect to what he called the “harmony of the spheres.”

There is nothing more important that we can do for ourselves.

“Deep Belief in Your Own Somebodiness”

I saw a lot of tributes to MLK Jr. yesterday. This one inspired me the most. The first element of his instruction for having a life “blueprint” was to have a “deep belief in your dignity, worth, and somebodiness.”

The word is odd but it hits the spot for me.

Especially when circumstances kick me around.

Especially when “everyone else” seems more successful and more…everything.

Especially when the world seems to be an unloving place for so many.

https://www.facebook.com/goalcast/videos/1294330473977473/

“I’m Gonna Use This for the Rest of My Life”

Inky Johnson lost his career in one football tackle. When he woke up in the hospital after a life-saving surgery, the doctor told him, “Son, you will never be able to use you right arm and shoulder again.” Inky responded, “You’re wrong. I’m alive. I’m gonna use this for the rest of my life.”

And he has. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cznfzIP1tTs

When I use the things that life brings me with gusto, my happiness doesn’t derail, joy doesn’t skip a beat, and I don’t multiply misery.

I want adversity to reveal my strength, not my immaturity; my patience, not my whining; my discipline, not my laziness.

Adversity will come. I will move with it (as Inky demonstrates)…deeper into my core of power.

It Only Took a Lifetime

It only took a lifetime to…

  • forgive myself (and others) for being human
  • learn the value of me
  • quit comparing
  • notice the teaming life around me
  • smile (instead of sneer) at my uniqueness
  • delight in the Universe
  • laugh at being a (valuable and unlikely) speck on a speck
  • remember how to get the most out of life by playing

Please Don’t Try to Help Me out or “Serve” Me If…

So, back to the dishes.

If we do them or do any other act of service with resentment, superiority, complaining, bitterness, distaste, or a judgmental attitude we are probably doing more harm than good. Kahlil Gibran compares this behavior to a baker putting poison in the bread that he bakes.

Even the “love chapter” in the Bible labels acts that are done without love, however impressive they may be, as noise, bad music, counterfeit money, and a waste of time.

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Most humans have “antennas” up for insincerity, arrogance, anger, and condescension. Nobody is really fooled by our “service.”

Maybe we should just do everyone a favor and quit kidding ourselves.

“I’m the Only One Who Ever Does the Dishes Around Here”

I whined about my workload more times than I can count. Once, when I said, “I’m the only one who ever does the dishes around here,” someone responded, “So, don’t do them anymore. I’d rather have a dirty kitchen than be around a martyr.”

Although, not the answer I was going for, he had a very good point. No one enjoys the poor-little-me martyr. Setting boundaries and agreements is a much better option.

In offices and homes all over the world, people are getting bitter about other people not shouldering their fair share of the work and carrying around bitterness about it. That bitterness infects and dismantles relationships, contributes to ulcers and illness, and sucks the fun out of any environment. I’m not advocating rewarding irresponsible behaviors, only managing them productively.

Solution:

  1. Tell people what you need.

  2. Agree on a plan.

  3. Set contingencies for exceptions and failures.

  4. Follow through without drama.

Goodbye martyrdom!

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Image result for whiners quotes

Ride It Out

Whether or not we believe this quote by historian Edward Gibbon, history and experience validate that those who survive and thrive are those who believe life happens for them, not to them.

It has certainly helped me to believe in my ability to ride out a storm while in the middle of one. Believing the wind and the waves were not on my side, that the storm was too much for me, caused me to…

  1. Sink

  2. Despair

  3. Give up

  4. Go bat-shit crazy

  5. Make other people miserable

If I had only known earlier that my thoughts and words were creating the blueprint of  my life, I would not have wallowed so long in pathetic negativity, comparing, and complaining.

Today I choose the thoughts and words of peace and success because my thoughts and words will  enable me to ride it out.

Knowing Our Own Vibe

Important Information about our “vibe:”

  • Being unaware of our own energy is a very common ailment

  • Vibes are not neutral. They are either spreading energy or sucking it out like a vacuum cleaner

  • Most difficult people think they don’t suck

  • Control freaks don’t have a good vibe

  • I usually don’t know that I am gone into the controlling, negative, or “bia” zone until someone tells me

  • If we haven’t given people permission to comment on our energy (without getting their heads bitten off), odds are we are part of the bad-vibe problem

  • If we think people are jerks, uncaring, a-holes, idiots, well…expect more of the same

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(Your vibe attracts your tribe.)

Recalling the Currency

Recalling the Currency

We have forgotten it in this new world

Where trading is in the tangibles

Then

One day our heart swells uncomfortably in our chest

Or tears come embarrassingly out of nowhere

For a song or an image or an undeserved kindness

We, unsure why

May plan a life and

Work hard to cover the discomfort of the something

Tugging from our forgotten past

Yet, always in the end

However painful

We will recall the currency of love and invisible miracles

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