Every time we complain about something we can’t change or whine about something we refuse to take responsibility for changing, we show our age…our emotional age.
I don’t know about you, but I spent far too much of my short life playing the victim or listening to others play the victim. I’m ready now to woman-up.
I’ll take responsibility for…
- my blind spots and misconceptions
- being a contributor to the pain in the world
- being the person I want others to be
- leaving things better than I found them
- leaving people better than I found them
- accepting the imperfection that is simply part of being human
Many of us are stunned or even annoyed when someone famous takes their own life; (“They had it all! What were they thinking?”). We shouldn’t be. The reasons they are unhappy are the same reasons we are unhappy.
10. Unhealthy dependence on someone or something
9. Unresolved issues or troubled conscience
8. Conflicting beliefs
6. Disappointment and loss
5. Broken hearts
4. Pain and health issues
3. Not believing in our unalterable and inestimable value (in spite of our flaws)
2. Taking ourselves and our small stuff too seriously
1. Forgetting to be grateful everyday for everything
Money and fame do not take care of these challenges. Wealth and fame often make it more difficult to remember that life was never about us or things, but about truly discovering the marvels of life in ourselves and in each other.
It is not just an emotion.
It is not just a state of mind.
It is not just meaningless dreaming.
Hope is a game-changing, power-building life-force that hovers around and lurks within our grasp at any and every (even devastatingly discouraging) moment…especially when the air is knocked out of our dreams, the floor falls out under us, or the darkness descends upon our light.
When we look ahead with hope, we join the ranks of the brave men and women who have refused to give up, who have fought until death, who lived without self-pity, and died without regret.
Hold on. Pain Ends.
None of us are really ordinary
We may have become ordinary
Because we lost hope somewhere along the way
Now we need something to awaken
The dormant greatness within us
Or someone to remind us who we really are
The greatest stories are always about
The most unlikely and ordinary beings
Doing the most extraordinary things
I’ll remind you if you will remind me
Because I wake up every morning with a sort of surprise that I am still here and that I have responsibility for yet one more day, I have developed an inner-world checklist to make it count:
- Do I remember that my plans are subject to change in an instant?
- Have I fortified myself for disruption by remembering that love matters most?
- Have I noticed my own breath and other marvels of the universe?
- Do I owe anyone an apology, forgiveness, or a thank-you? Do I have promises to keep?
- Who needs my help or encouragement?
- Do I understand that I am no more or no less valuable than any other living being?
Now, I am ready for the outer-world checklist, which will undoubtedly demand my highest level of competence.
The following poem is a good start…
Tripping over Joy
The spiritual path is a sublime chess game with god
The Beloved has just made such a Fantastic Move
That the saint is now continually tripping over joy and bursting out in laughter and saying, “I surrender!”
Whereas, my dear, I am afraid you still think you have a thousand serious moves.
I have found this brand of surrender to be my first step into sanity upon many occasions.
Of course, that is, after I spent ions painfully plotting with perspiration over the board.
How about you? Are those furrows on your brow?
When my bosses failed to reward my work exactly as I thought they should, I talked trash about them and carried around a big grudge. Then, they started treating me worse and I didn’t comprehend my part of that equation.
My negative, reactive (vs. proactive) behaviors were making matters worse and repelling the people I wanted to attract.
It’s a very common problem in work and in romance.
No one likes being around bitter people.
Respect yourself enough to refuse the victim status. Ask questions. Speak truth. Set boundaries. Move on if necessary.
Mature people are sexy.
And arguing about “what loveable is” or attacking those who don’t love us won’t get us more love. Finding out how others see us, accepting that reality and acting productively does.
So I was sick on an airplane with 14 hours remaining on the flight. Difficult to breathe, coughing, head exploding. No medications. Middle seat. People on the row wanting to get away from me with nowhere to go. I told myself this was hell…until I remembered prisoners of war, refugees, and people with genetic or chronic pain and challenges.
When I changed my self-talk from “I can’t handle this” to “How can I use this moment for good?” something changed. I began to notice and send good thoughts to everyone sitting around me. My pain ceased to be my focus. Sleep came…and went. I lived.
Now, when life sucks, that insignificant experience is my friend…whispering courage.
Inspirational Quotes About Overcoming Tragedy Motivational Quotes”be Patient And Tough; One Day This Pain Will Be – QUOTES HOPE
We may not have a clue about how to keep someone or ourselves from suicide, but here is a starting place:
- Be aware of the sucking, black hole of depression
- Have compassion for those who fight against it
- Listen to those who need to talk
- Take time to initiate caring conversations
- Adopt a non-judgmental attitude toward ourselves and others who struggle
- Drop the clichés and quick-fix recommendations
Most damaging misconception: people who consider suicide are selfish.
Sometimes, when facing our own failure and helplessness, it seems as if taking our own life is the most loving thing we can do for the world.
Unrelenting pain drives people to the edge of reason.
Confessions of a Suicide Groupie
Nobody wants to live in the present when it is unpleasant. Here are some incentives:
1. We can become our own hero – the movies that inspire us are about people who endure suffering and rise above it, right? That’s you at this moment. You are the star. Shine!
2. We need the training – otherwise, we will be wimps.
3. This moment has hidden treasures – and we must be present to win, to find them, to see them. Trading the moment in for the next is always a bad move. Bird in hand better than two in bush. Really. Our time is limited…a millisecond in eternity.
4. Present people are sexy – and refreshing, and rare, and like meditation music.
Make Thoreau proud…and all of creation. Take the advice…find your eternity in each moment.