I pledge allegiance to living stress-free
Remembering worry doesn’t work for me
And neither does angry fretting (unfortunately)
I pledge allegiance to living stress-free
Because controlling people and things
(I don’t control) is the job of Kings
My worry and stress never helped one single soul
Only pulled me deep into a sucking hole
Where there was no benefit for me or anyone
Just an embarrassing waste of adrenalin*
*Some of us, who insist upon worrying, believe, erroneously, that the opposite of worrying is not caring. However, this is not the case. Often, surrendering is the only wise way to effectively care…and much more efficient.
There have been times that I have had an impulse to give and have hesitated too long, or tried to ignore the impulse altogether. I have always regretted it. Usually, fear was at the root of my decision.
When I felt I should give a compliment, I may have feared being overshadowed. Will they think they are better than me?
When I felt I should give encouragement, it might have been the fear of rejection. Will they question my motive?
When I felt compelled to offer support, it was probably a fear of failure. Who do I think I am? What do I have to offer?
When I felt an impulse to forgive, it was a fear of someone getting off the hook too easily. If I forgive them, they won’t get what they deserve.
When I felt I should give money, it was the fear of scarcity. Can I afford it? What if I need this in the future?
None of my fears were grounded. I could not out give the Universe.
Today, I will give without fear.
I always wanted to be able to sing like Adele or Aretha Franklin. Since I couldn’t, I decided to bring that passion to whatever tasks life handed me. However small, boring, or seemingly insignificant those tasks were, I would “sing my life” like I meant it.
Living like this has changed my life, made difficult times go by faster, brought me lots of friends, work, and loyalty, and helped me deliver energy and hope where they were sadly lacking (like at boring jobs, committee meetings, or the DMV).
“The antidote to exhaustion is not rest but, rather, wholeheartedness.” – David Whyte
Today I thought about how the Universe sometimes has made behind-the-scenes accommodations, when, for instance, we were worried about being late to a meeting that, unbeknownst to us, was postponed. Or, panicked about missing a flight that was delayed. Or, frantic and frustrated about traffic making us late and others were also detained. Or scared about being late for a doctor’s or dentist appointment and we had to sit in the waiting room for a half-hour anyway.
Important recon. Especially when the stakes are much higher.
Things work out.
When we wake up and find ourselves in the wrong place
When our life gets worse with time instead of better
When peace has alluded us
When we wonder what went wrong
Eventually we must see the connection
Between our choices and our emotions
Our sowing and our reaping
Listen to anyone, for any length of time, talk about their family, their life story, or what they are angry about, and you will discover enough crazy to last a lifetime. It’s not just politicians, our relatives, Isis, or our exes that are screwed up.
The only healthy way to navigate our whacked-out world is to look ourselves square in the eye and admit our part of the absurdity. Even though we have elaborate techniques for burying our own culpability, each of us owns a significant piece of this action. Bashing others for their part doesn’t make you any better. In fact, it makes you look crazier and makes me feel like getting the heck away from you as fast as I can.
I might start wearing these signs around my neck to remind both of us.
Sometimes I complain too much about the difficult things life requires me to do. If I am smart, I will see what others can easily see; I need the re-construction, remodel, and renovation that occurs when I am doing a work of love for others, even if I can’t see a positive outcome.
Acknowledging the mystery of this often prevents me from tearing down valuable work with my own hands.
I started thinking that I probably wasn’t living my best life when my therapist fell asleep during our counseling session. I’m sure that listening to me wallow in my misery was painfully tedious, especially since the solution was so obvious; I needed to move on.
It took another year before I would entertain that idea (even though, for several months, I had been hoping I would die on my way to work!).
Looking back, it is hard for me to believe I was so stubbornly attached to such a painful construct. What we think is necessary…often is not.
I hope you will hear life calling you today more quickly than I did.
Look for the clues outside your normal.
PS. If we are not in therapy, we may want to notice how bored our friends are with our diatribes.
When I am “out of order” I am literally doing things out of order.
- I try to be happy before I take charge of changing my thoughts
- I try to take charge of my day before securing my personal peace and power
- I try to take on tasks or projects without love and gratitude
- I try to serve my family, neighbors, or friends before making sure I am not just “checking the boxes,” posing, or being self-righteous
- I try to “fix” someone else before fixing myself first
When I insist on doing things my own way, ignoring the natural order of success, maybe I should hang an “out of order” sign around my neck (before someone else does).
Maybe one reason humans love the ocean is because it speaks to our cells, not only of beauty, but of deeply subconscious things.
Today I hear it say…
All of life is rhythm.
Don’t waste your time trying to stop it.
Face each wave with reverence.
Hear me roar.
Millions will never see me and cannot imagine my vastness.
If you do; bow.
And, when you are away from the ocean, bow to the ocean within you.
Honor the magnitude of my abundance.
Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don’t go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won’t laugh at you. – Jim Rohn