“Deep Belief in Your Own Somebodiness”

I saw a lot of tributes to MLK Jr. yesterday. This one inspired me the most. The first element of his instruction for having a life “blueprint” was to have a “deep belief in your dignity, worth, and somebodiness.”

The word is odd but it hits the spot for me.

Especially when circumstances kick me around.

Especially when “everyone else” seems more successful and more…everything.

Especially when the world seems to be an unloving place for so many.

https://www.facebook.com/goalcast/videos/1294330473977473/

It Only Took a Lifetime

It only took a lifetime to…

  • forgive myself (and others) for being human
  • learn the value of me
  • quit comparing
  • notice the teaming life around me
  • smile (instead of sneer) at my uniqueness
  • delight in the Universe
  • laugh at being a (valuable and unlikely) speck on a speck
  • remember how to get the most out of life by playing

Please Don’t Try to Help Me out or “Serve” Me If…

So, back to the dishes.

If we do them or do any other act of service with resentment, superiority, complaining, bitterness, distaste, or a judgmental attitude we are probably doing more harm than good. Kahlil Gibran compares this behavior to a baker putting poison in the bread that he bakes.

Even the “love chapter” in the Bible labels acts that are done without love, however impressive they may be, as noise, bad music, counterfeit money, and a waste of time.

Image result for gibran quotes

Most humans have “antennas” up for insincerity, arrogance, anger, and condescension. Nobody is really fooled by our “service.”

Maybe we should just do everyone a favor and quit kidding ourselves.

“I’m the Only One Who Ever Does the Dishes Around Here”

I whined about my workload more times than I can count. Once, when I said, “I’m the only one who ever does the dishes around here,” someone responded, “So, don’t do them anymore. I’d rather have a dirty kitchen than be around a martyr.”

Although, not the answer I was going for, he had a very good point. No one enjoys the poor-little-me martyr. Setting boundaries and agreements is a much better option.

In offices and homes all over the world, people are getting bitter about other people not shouldering their fair share of the work and carrying around bitterness about it. That bitterness infects and dismantles relationships, contributes to ulcers and illness, and sucks the fun out of any environment. I’m not advocating rewarding irresponsible behaviors, only managing them productively.

Solution:

  1. Tell people what you need.

  2. Agree on a plan.

  3. Set contingencies for exceptions and failures.

  4. Follow through without drama.

Goodbye martyrdom!

Image result for whiners quotes

Image result for whiners quotes

Knowing Our Own Vibe

Important Information about our “vibe:”

  • Being unaware of our own energy is a very common ailment

  • Vibes are not neutral. They are either spreading energy or sucking it out like a vacuum cleaner

  • Most difficult people think they don’t suck

  • Control freaks don’t have a good vibe

  • I usually don’t know that I am gone into the controlling, negative, or “bia” zone until someone tells me

  • If we haven’t given people permission to comment on our energy (without getting their heads bitten off), odds are we are part of the bad-vibe problem

  • If we think people are jerks, uncaring, a-holes, idiots, well…expect more of the same

Related image

(Your vibe attracts your tribe.)

Recalling the Currency

Recalling the Currency

We have forgotten it in this new world

Where trading is in the tangibles

Then

One day our heart swells uncomfortably in our chest

Or tears come embarrassingly out of nowhere

For a song or an image or an undeserved kindness

We, unsure why

May plan a life and

Work hard to cover the discomfort of the something

Tugging from our forgotten past

Yet, always in the end

However painful

We will recall the currency of love and invisible miracles

Related image

 

When I Take Time to Hear Myself

The first step I must take in order to become the very best version of myself is to pay attention to my thoughts and words. Besides catching myself saying negative things, I also review my conversations to catch the times I exaggerated, wasn’t completely honest, or talked too much.

Take time to really hear your Self. - JoAnnaRothman #YourDailyGift http://www.joannarothman.com/take-time-really-hear-self-joannarothman-yourdailygift

When I take the time to really hear myself, it is sometimes painful, yet, that pain gives me more incentive to grow and change.

Not sure if there is actual scientific proof to support this whole claim but it certainly is proven that stress can make you ill in many different ways.

While Thinking Over 2017

…I pinpoint the one thing that has improved my relationships more than anything else. It is the realization that people don’t need to hear what I have to say nearly as much as they need me to hear what they have to say; my presence much more than my advice, and my acceptance much more than my analysis.

In fact, this one insight has saved me from multiplying my regrettable errors. Duh. Yet, yet, yet, I still forget and think it is about me being heard.

Thanks to those of you who were patient with my words in 2017.

Image result for take time to hear

Lots of Underappreciated People

My year-end review for 2017 includes making a list of all the people who helped me get where I am today.

So far, I have one-hundred and forty names down with their specific contribution to my training, support, and development.

Yet, that list doesn’t even include all the underpaid public school cafeteria workers who put up with my constant complaining about the affordable food they prepared, or the people who had to pick up all my stinky trash, or the water-treatment plant people, or the linemen who worked to keep me from bitching about no electricity during the ice-storms, or the mechanics, road builders, and grocery stockers with invisible faces who kept things running for me.

Related image

Appreciation routine:

  • Start the car: thank the assembly line worker

  • Drive: thank the laborer who built the road

  • Turn on the radio: thank the engineer

  • etc., etc., etc.

What My Gifts Are Not

It is obviously important to figure out one’s gifts and to use them to benefit others.

I may not have complete clarity about what my gifts are, yet I know for sure that my gifts are not…

  • nagging

  • controlling

  • manipulating

…even though those behaviors appear to be my default settings. And, even though, I seem to think that using them will actually benefit someone.

Image result for nagging quotes

When in doubt about my contribution to the people in my life, I cannot go wrong by contributing patience and love.