Even when we think we don’t have a creative bone in our body, our minds and bodies are urging us to build, uncover new paths, journal, write, paint, draw, cook, garden, make someone smile or laugh, take pictures, or simply make something clean and shiny. We are created in the image of a creator.
I thought my life was mostly over before I gave myself permission to create and enjoy my creations.
I hope you will create today. Create joy for someone. Create joy for yourself.
Create joy in the limited time we have in this fertile place.
Where is the fine line between…
- confidence and arrogance?
- flexibility and indecisiveness?
- humility and self-deprecation?
- self-respect and self-pity?
- candor and harmful criticism?
- compromise and cooperation?
- communicating and talking?
- helping and interfering?
- love and co-dependency?
I could go on.
The point is:
- Our happiness, success, productivity, and relationships depend upon the fine line between these character traits.
- The trajectory of our careers and personal lives is a function of how we think and how often we think about these distinctions in our daily interactions.
- If we chose the fast lane that speeds past these distinctions, it will not save us any time.
- And, again, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
(Original post 2013)
Being open without being loved is terrifying.
Although, if we love but are not open, there is no room for growth and improvement.
Where there is both openness and love, there is maximum growth and unlimited potential for happiness.
This is not an exact quote from K. Killian Noe but I was moved by the power of the insight while listening to Melinda Gates’ audio, Moment of Lift.
K. Killian Noe founded a simple healing model to help homeless and recovering men and women based on this premise. Yet, the premise has healing implications for all of our relationships.
Hiding our flaws is tempting and much easier. No one wants rejection, disapproval, or mockery.
Yet, powerful love and healing only comes by going deep into honesty with ourselves and others.
Often, the ultimate battle.
The “every moment” part is the big challenge.
Yet, at least, I am more aware when my ego runs to my rescue, trying to prop me up by:
- Seeking attention
- Obsessing upon what someone thinks of me
- Being ashamed of, or apologetic about, who I am
- Gathering status symbols
- Becoming offended by someone’s words or opinion
- Posturing for approval
I’ve found the power to be genuine resides in the liberating thought: no one needs to approve of who I am because I am what I am for a genuine reason.
Every one seems so together
While we are encased in private terror
Afraid someone will notice
We don’t belong there
At a high school reunion, we admitted to our former rivals how scared and lonely we had felt. I apologized for not noticing that they were just as worried as me.
If I had only been less self-centered, enough to notice others’ pain.
If I had only relaxed into life enough to drop the elaborate self-protection.
But, such is the learning curve.
Now I can make up for lost time.
Read a book I thought was boring
But loved it.
Forced to be with people with whom I thought I had nothing in common
Found cool and interesting friends.
Lost a job that I really needed
But found one I needed more.
Sustained a heartbreak I thought would kill me
Now happier than before.
Learned impossible new skills
It was possible.
Depression said gloom and doom was unavoidable
Service and love overcame the darkness.
Tragedy said the world was irredeemable
There was redemption.
I cease to be surprised.
Ironically, many of us worry a whole lot about eating and drinking “clean” while we are actively mentally poisoning ourselves.
The most important thing I can do today to stop my own poisoning is to root out any traces of hatred in my life.
Where to start looking?
- Accusations I make about others: Usually I have found the things I react to with the most venom are:
(Coincidentally, these are all things that I struggle with myself. Oops. Revelation.)
- who disappointed me
- who I don’t like
- who frustrates and angers me
- who I am jealous of
If I can first, be aware of these two areas, and second, catch and release the accusations and negative words, poisoning myself will happily cease.
The surest way for me to start feeling bad is to start thinking about what I don’t like about others and how they treat me.
The purpose of Byron’s Katie’s inquiry work is not denial, but to insure I am not moving away from the better part of myself which is free of untested bitter judgments, opinions, projections and assumptions about what is not right with someone else.
Because, once I clear the emotional, reactionary clutter, and focus on the only thing I can change, i.e. myself, rather than the things I cannot, i.e. others, life then becomes much more…
The trouble is that I multiply my suffering (instead of alleviating it) by questioning other people’s minds instead of my own.
“Overcoming the need to create outsiders is our greatest challenge as human beings.”
Melinda Gates’ book, The Moment of Lift is a refreshing reminder of the power we wield when we include rather than exclude groups or individuals.
Bigotry. Racism. Sexism. Enslavement. Discrimination. Alienation. Condescension. Smugness. Superiority. Class distinctions. Cliques. Judgmental, critical, and condemning words.
All cripple and oppose progress.
Will I Rise above Me?
Although I am still groggy with the sleep of the self-centered
Reality slowly fades into focus
Unveiling my ego’s shocking aim to lift itself
By pushing hard on someone else
If it must
Claiming that I am superior
And have more of a right to something or other
I shrink and cringe at that creature
Who must diminish another
To feel comfortable with myself
Redemption always waits close by.
Even when we think…
- it is too late
- we have gone too far
- we have done too much damage
- we are irredeemable
It is never too late.
Our picture of the perfect outcome may be flawed anyway.
Redemption always waits close by.
To ere is human. To learn humility is worth it.