Manufacturing the X Spot

Duh.

I have certainly experienced this when I am depleted, losing hope and then, some element of promise surfaces and voila, I am suddenly re-energized.

Although, when there is a complete absence of promise or progress on the horizon, when darkness blocks out any light and failure seems to crush any chance of success, the so-called X-spot doesn’t exist.

But, there is a way (thanks to Tony Robbins, Shawn Achor and others) I have manufactured that almost there, X-spot advantage:

  1. I call to mind another success that made me ecstatic
  2. I relive it and feel the excitement of it right now in this moment
  3. I proceed as if I have already been declared a winner

Self-delusion? Or, merely taking charge of my reality as my heroes have done?

You decide.

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If You’re Going to Be Anything

Be genuine.

Often, the ultimate battle.

The “every moment” part is the big challenge.

Yet, at least, I am more aware when my ego runs to my rescue, trying to prop me up by:

  • Seeking attention
  • Obsessing upon what someone thinks of me
  • Being ashamed of, or apologetic about, who I am
  • Dishonesty
  • Gathering status symbols
  • Becoming offended by someone’s words or opinion
  • Posturing for approval
  • Hiding

I’ve found the power to be genuine resides in the liberating thought: no one needs to approve of who I am because I am what I am for a genuine reason.

We Think We Are the Only One

Every one seems so together

While we are encased in private terror

Afraid someone will notice

We don’t belong there

 

At a high school reunion, we admitted to our former rivals how scared and lonely we had felt. I apologized for not noticing that they were just as worried as me.

If I had only been less self-centered, enough to notice others’ pain.

If I had only relaxed into life enough to drop the elaborate self-protection.

But, such is the learning curve.

Now I can make up for lost time.

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Got Failure and Rejection Scars?

No shame in trying.

Yet, why have I shamed myself for trying and failing?

Why does the self-hatred linger and linger and linger?

Why have the failures cut deep shame and rejection-scarred paths in my 3 AM mind?

Possibly because I forgot to change the sound track laid down on the memory.

The new one sounds like this:

You are so human.

You are brave to try.

You are failing better as a result.

You are doing the best you can with what you have where you are.

Your motives are right.

Stay honest.

Keep learning.

Keep gathering mentors.

While there is breath there is hope.

Prepare to Be Surprised

Read a book I thought was boring

But loved it.

Surprise.

Forced to be with people with whom I thought I had nothing in common

Found cool and interesting friends.

Surprised again.

Lost a job that I really needed

But found one I needed more.

Surprised again.

Sustained a heartbreak I thought would kill me

Now happier than before.

Surprised again.

Learned impossible new skills 

It was possible.

Surprised again.

Depression said gloom and doom was unavoidable

Service and love overcame the darkness.

Surprised again.

Tragedy said the world was irredeemable

There was redemption.

I cease to be surprised.

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But, What Should I Expect?

AUGUST.

au·gust
[ôˈɡəst]

ADJECTIVE
respected and impressive:
synonyms: distinguished · respected · eminent · venerable · hallowed · illustrious

Who says we can’t make this month impressive, distinguished, respected, eminent, venerable, hallowed, or illustrious?

However we arrived here (even if July dumped us unceremoniously) on the doorstep of August, we made it. There is no mistake about it.

Maybe we should remind each other to treat August as it deserves.

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Just Taking Inventory

“I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person,

but because it hurts when I argue with reality.”

– Byron Katie

I don’t know if you have ever tottered upon the edge of insanity after someone or something completely smashed your life into a thoroughly unrecognizable, splintered mass, but just in case you are ever there, here is the only path to heroic coolness:

Step One:

Believe that what is IS.  (Reality isn’t up for negotiation.)

Step Two:

Decide the Universe will provide the needed resources to master what is. (You are more powerful than you have ever dreamed.)

Step Three:

Embrace what is. (Refuse yourself access to the if-only or it’s-not-fair or why-me regions of unproductive and self-defeating thinking.)

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Help! I’m Poisoning Myself!

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Ironically, many of us worry a whole lot about eating and drinking “clean” while we are actively mentally poisoning ourselves.

The most important thing I can do today to stop my own poisoning is to root out any traces of hatred in my life.

Where to start looking?

  • Accusations I make about others: Usually I have found the things I react to with the most venom are:
      1. greed
      2. selfishness
      3. arrogance
      4. carelessness

(Coincidentally, these are all things that I struggle with myself. Oops. Revelation.)

  • What I talk about:
    1. who disappointed me
    2. who I don’t like
    3. who frustrates and angers me
    4. who I am jealous of

If I can first, be aware of these two areas, and second, catch and release the accusations and negative words, poisoning myself will happily cease.

The Purpose of Challenging What We Think We Know

The surest way for me to start feeling bad is to start thinking about what I don’t like about others and how they treat me.

The purpose of Byron’s Katie’s inquiry work is not denial, but to insure I am not moving away from the better part of myself which is free of untested bitter judgments, opinions, projections and assumptions about what is not right with someone else.

Because, once I clear the emotional, reactionary clutter, and focus on the only thing I can change, i.e. myself, rather than the things I cannot, i.e. others, life then becomes much more…

  • sane
  • manageable
  • pleasant
  • loving
  • clear
  • peaceful
  • hopeful

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The trouble is that I multiply my suffering (instead of alleviating it) by questioning other people’s minds instead of my own.

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