And, the rest of the quote…
Every time you get angry you poison your own system. Expect problems and eat them for breakfast.
Maybe it wasn’t what we ordered, but it made it to our table anyway. When we just pick up our knife and fork and get busy cutting those problems into bite-size pieces (instead of getting angry at whoever or whatever caused us the extra trouble) we’ll save a heck of a lot of time and energy.
And, it will sure taste better than poison.
A few years ago the Wall Street Journal featured an article about people going ballistic over petty things.
Their explanation for this: We feel like we are in danger of losing something; that someone is going to take something from us.
It sounds simple, but actually carries a truth, when embraced, that can change me.
When I decided I didn’t want to be a doormat nor a dog growling over my bowl, I acknowledged these things:
1. Plain and simple fear is always at the root of my anger
2. Losing my soul over something temporary is not a good trade.
3. If I prepare for and expect threats to my “illusion of control,” I weather them better.
The only difference in these two words is one little letter. Change the R(rrrrrrrrrrrrr) for a Gee! and get a better result; a simple shift for an effective fix.
Someone just said something insensitive to me. I can choose to be enRaged (retaliate or seethe), or I can enGage them with a non-accusatory question such as, “Gee, what you just said sounded like an attack, is that how you meant it?” If they say, “No, I was just teasing,” then I can say, “So, do you mind if we talk about what just happened?” If they meant it, then we set boundaries.
Either way, engaging eliminates drama and creates a win-win. If I’m enraged, we both lose.
Worth a try?