I’m an energy vampire. But I don’t even know it. I walk into a room or into a conversation and before long, people around me go dark or shrivel up like raisins. But, I won’t even notice. I will think they are just boring, messed up, or not worth my time.
I won’t notice that I have talked about myself too long, interrupted, over-talked, been dogmatic, opinionated, negative, arrogant, oblivious, uninterested, or critical.
Some people will be nice to me anyway because they hate conflict and they don’t want to hurt my feelings.
Some people will start looking at their phones.
Some will walk away.
Some will pretend to listen because they are polite, but their minds will be elsewhere.
A few will be bold enough to tell me why I don’t have friends, or can’t stay in a relationship, or why people don’t return my calls. But, I will hate them for it and won’t believe them. I will call them names and tell other people that they are unworthy, stuck up, or lower life-forms.
I will not entertain the idea that these few, bold people might really care and only speak painful truth for my own good.
I am self-absorbed. I am a taker vs. a giver. I only give to others with strings attached or with ulterior motives. And because of that, I accuse others of bad motives and self-absorption.
If I ever change it will be because I have been courageous enough to ask for help or to listen to criticism. It will be because I wanted relationships more than I wanted to protect my ego. It will be because I decided, as Socrates did, that an unexamined life was not worth living.
It will be because I wanted to be that person who could walk into a room and light it up.