Were They Engaged?

Were they engaged?

Ok, I know it is close to Valentine’s Day, but I am not referring to that type of engagement.

This is about knowing the difference between the people who really care about what we are saying and the people who are only politely pretending to care.

It has taken me far too many years to notice the difference, but finally doing so has made a profound impact upon how many words I speak.

Formerly, I would just keep talking long after someone had stopped listening because I was too insensitive or naïve to notice. What a waste for everyone!

Engagement makes life worth living. Wait for it.

Save the airspace.

What To Do when Every Path Looks Uninviting

When all you feel is pain…

When life is so absurd you cannot believe it is really happening to you…

When every path looks uninviting…

Here are the instructions:

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 3:

You are now entering the territory of heroes and legends.

How to Know if You Are Annoying

  1. You interrupt someone’s story to tell yours.

  2. You talk about how the world has wronged you.

  3. You talk too much and listen too little.

  4. You brag.

  5. You tell people what they should do.

  6. You think so much about what people think about you that you are inauthentic.

  7. You find things to complain about on vacation.

  8. Your list of people and things you don’t like is growing.

  9. You don’t ever wonder if you are annoying.

  10. You complain about how annoying people are.


I Am an Energy Vampire

Energy_vampireI’m an energy vampire. But I don’t even know it. I walk into a room or into a conversation and before long, people around me go dark or shrivel up like raisins. But, I won’t even notice. I will think they are just boring, messed up, or not worth my time.

I won’t notice that I have talked about myself too long, interrupted, over-talked, been dogmatic, opinionated, negative, arrogant, oblivious, uninterested, or critical.

Some people will be nice to me anyway because they hate conflict and they don’t want to hurt my feelings.

Some people will start looking at their phones.

Some will walk away.

Some will pretend to listen because they are polite, but their minds will be elsewhere.

A few will be bold enough to tell me why I don’t have friends, or can’t stay in a relationship, or why people don’t return my calls. But, I will hate them for it and won’t believe them. I will call them names and tell other people that they are unworthy, stuck up, or lower life-forms.

I will not entertain the idea that these few, bold people might really care and only speak painful truth for my own good.

I am self-absorbed. I am a taker vs. a giver. I only give to others with strings attached or with ulterior motives. And because of that, I accuse others of bad motives and self-absorption.

If I ever change it will be because I have been courageous enough to ask for help or to listen to criticism. It will be because I wanted relationships more than I wanted to protect my ego. It will be because I decided, as Socrates did, that an unexamined life was not worth living.

It will be because I wanted to be that person who could walk into a room and light it up.