Many years ago, I interviewed for a regional management position.
I expected the pat questions.
Instead, the interview was, “Prepare your action plan and present it to our leaders.”
They gave me an hour to prepare. At minute 53, I was sweating profusely over a blank sheet of paper.
At minute 54, after a desperate prayer, I noticed their strategic vision statement on the wall.
At minute 60, I had crafted a presentation to match that statement. They offered me the job.
Often, the key to magical communication lies in understanding the audience.
In relationships, I often skip that step and my words skip over them like a well-thrown rock across a pond.
People listen when, before opening our mouth, we replace our…
point of view
Communicating without offending.
People who have this best skill on earth, have…
- Enough awareness to recognize their communication dysfunctions
- Enough humility to apologize for, and adjust, counterproductive communications
- Enough commitment to practice listening, insight, and proven techniques of highly effective communicators
Whatever other skills we might want to acquire in life, nothing will help our digestion (and the digestion of those who have to live with and around us) more than better communication skills (along with our social lives, success, happiness, and mental health.)
Labeling people as insensitive doesn’t help.
Telling our friends how they just don’t get it is not the whole story.
Patting ourselves on the back about how sensitive we are compared to them won’t help either.
What will help is understanding personality styles are more of a barrier than we often realize. What we think is so obvious really isn’t to at least fifty percent of the population!
(And they are thinking the same about us!)
Personality wavelengths are so far apart that it is a royal illusion to believe dropping hints, beating around the bush, or rolling our eyes is inadequate communication. (Went completely over their heads.)
Never assume your language is theirs.
The world would be so much happier if we were taught this in high school.