Not Enough Present

“There are only two days in a year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow.” -The Dalai Lama

All forms of guilt, regret, resentment, and bitterness are caused by too much past and not enough present.

All forms of anxiety, worry, stress, and fear are caused by too much future and not enough present.

If I seriously respect and inhabit the moment before I try to sort out or make sense of all other points on the time-space continuum, I won’t hurt as much.

How this spells out practically:

  1. Schedule daily reflection/meditation time.
  2. Deal ruthlessly with any of my wimpy objections or manic interruptions to this practice.
  3. Always stop, ground, and center before reacting to any unexpected or unwelcome circumstance.

Three Choices

There are always three choices:

1. Mourn the past (If only…)

2. Long for the future (When I finally…)

3. Make the most of the present (What is life asking of me right now?)

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For me, this starts with replacements:

1. A smile for a frown (Yes!)

2. A laugh for a tear (Whatever!)

3. A challenge for fear (Bring it on!)

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you have chosen it. Always work with it, not against it..this will miraculously transform your whole life.” – Eckhart Tolle

Perfect Paranoia

 

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...unless we want to be paranoid about people finding out about all the things we have done wrong.

A little mercy for offenders (even politicians) makes us easier people to live with.

Paranoia (along with subsequent deceit, hiding, and rationalizing) is often a sign that we have been making ourselves feel better about ourselves by condemning others.

Judge and feel judged.

“Perfect” paranoia for perfect pointers of fingers.

Mighty Miss Mya to Our Rescue

If it is difficult to be grateful today…

If you need a jumpstart on gratitude because your life sucks…

Mighty Miss Mya is coming to help.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/video/im-walking-year-cerebral-palsy-takes-steps-56355188

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Loved this ABC News Story.

I think I’ll watch it every time I hear myself sigh.

Tricked by the Illusion of Lack?

If we complain about the things we lack, the things we are deprived of, or the people and opportunities we have lost, we shouldn’t be surprised by the chore of our existence or by the other disappointed and bitter individuals that we will inevitably pull into that illusion of lack.

If, instead of that, we recognize our choice, call the Universe abundant, and take one step up, what a different experience will await us.mlk

 

 

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Me First!

 

First to apologize. First to forgive. First to forget.

As a kid, I really wish I had known how to fight for being first in line for these privileges.

The whole apology thing could have saved me years of guilt and shame.

If I could have known it was okay to admit I made a dumb mistake when my kindergarten friend showed up at my house with a ginormous birthday gift for an imaginary birthday party which I accidentally invited her to…

Instead, I crafted an elaborate cover-up to hide my embarrassment over her embarrassment.

She never spoke to me again and I didn’t forgive myself for over a decade.

Maybe learning to be first in line for these three skills should have been the first thing we learned in the first grade.

Freedom that Doesn’t Leave Us Empty

I hope it has never happened to you, but following the novelty of freedom after quitting a job, leaving a relationship, retiring, or, as in Mandela’s case, getting out of jail, comes the “what-do-I-do-now?” stage.

Misusing our freedom by allowing ourselves to over-indulge for extended periods of time, or to become lazy will inevitably steal the joy of freedom.

Funneling our freedom into making a difference for others is real freedom.

That’s the freedom for which we were born.

Feeling Unfairly Overlooked?

I spent years as a disgruntled employee, feeling unjustly slighted, before I even tiptoed close to the possibility that it might be my fault.

I now wish I had made sure I wasn’t part of the problem before I accused so many people of evil.

The same was true for the times I was dumped or I felt ignored in relationships.

There was more to the story.

There is always more to the story.

It’s called…their side.

Some of the reasons we don’t know their side are:

  • they are afraid to tell us

  • we don’t listen and respond well when they try to tell us

  • candor (with ourselves and others) is a very rare skill that few have mastered

So, instead of wasting my time retelling my sob story to myself and anyone who will listen, I started learning how to fix the parts that were my fault.

It’s pretty amazing how fast my life got better.

 

 

“Kindsight”

I’ve posted this quote from http://www.notsalmon.com before, but thought it might be time for a repeat.

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Stop the blame-and-shame-train with “What was I learning?”

Otherwise, it’s not just me that will suffer.

I will beat others up with my…

  • repetitive monologues

  • intolerance of others’ mistakes

  • destructive judgements and projections