When Stuck

“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” – John Green

Even when it seems irrational.

Even when someone seems unforgiveable.

Even when the person we must forgive is ourselves.

Even when the Universe seems treacherous.

Even when it hurts too much.

Especially when it hurts too much.

Forgiveness is the door to rational communication, revelation, and relief.

The labyrinth was always an illusion.

Stop Acting So Small

Related image

Ways in Which I Have Acted Small:

  • Being jealous of the place others have in the Universe

  • Whining about how unfair the world was to me

  • Hurting others to make myself feel better

  • Telling myself that I was more or less valuable than any other human being

  • Thinking I was common

  • Wallowing in my limitations and pain

  • Giving up too quickly

  • Failing to smile at the future and to act with courage

  • Ignoring the magnitude of the miracles that sustain me any given moment

  • Fearing scarcity and loss

Where to Start When Things Are All Messed Up

Messed up day? Messed up life? Messed up anything?

Fix it.

When I quit arguing about this and took complete responsibility for turning off the complaints and turning on the acceptance, change began.

Without this first step, all others are more difficult.

Fighting off “The Frightened Toddler”

Image result for believing the worst

I love the accuracy of anxiety being described as a toddler. If I would have thought about this description last night at 3 AM, I would not have let my “toddler brain” take charge of my life. It would have made sense to quietly ignore the relentless insistence that I was wrong about everything and everything about life was wrong.

Image result for eckhart tolle quotes about observer

(Click on above quote for more powerful info about fighting off “The Frightened Toddler”)

Fail Early, Fail Often, and Fail Forward

Getting my head around this understanding of failure has been a real challenge.

Failure, to me, was always…

  • embarrassing

  • debilitating

  • terrifying

  • depressing

I spent many years hiding rejection scars, pretending I hadn’t failed, blaming and shaming myself and others about failures before I ever experienced the joy of failing forward.

“Failure is not your enemy but your guide to improvement.”

Changing to the habit of excepting my humanity, even laughing at my propensity to fail, has brought me massive relief…and always…closer to success.

What We Think of You

What we think of you doesn’t really matter.

In the early 1700’s people thought Johann Sabastian Bach’s music was “mediocre, too complex, and unsatisfactory.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Intellectual_Devotional

Related image

Huh. So glad Bach didn’t get discouraged and quit before I had a chance to hear “Sheep May Safely Graze” three-thousand (okay, three hundred) years later.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCyJvRaQ3Dg

Gee, I guess public opinion can be wrong.

Image result for what people think of you

I can, and should, learn and grow from what other people say about me, but if I start measuring my worth by it, everyone loses.

Why Are Horrible Things Are Happening to Me?

I thought I stood alone and dejected, on a stark and menacing precipice overlooking a hopeless descent. I thought my life was a perpetual winter.

I had not heard the message of Spring: a message repeated over and over to me every year of my entire life…in loud, symphonic stereo;

“It may look dead, desolate, gone, sad and defeated, but appearances are deceiving. Just wait. Wait until you see the magic of transformation. Wait until the hidden life, the hidden hope, the hidden color, and the hidden blossom…that lives tenaciously in the dark of death…awakens.”

Related image

Related image

“…no spring skips its turn.” -Hal Borland

Let winter come…and go.

I Locked Myself in and Was Really Mad at Everyone Else about It

I fretted for years about my disappointing life, felt deprived of the happiness I deserved, was resentful of those who had it, and offended by those who told me the key to change was in my own pocket.

They were wrong, I thought. They didn’t understand my circumstances. They were too shallow or “worldly.” I was trapped by a belief system that was sacred and could not be jettisoned, at any cost. My lot was to keep the padlocks on the door and to endure the despair.

It seems ludicrous to me now that I thought beliefs that made me miserable, desperate, judgmental, deceitful and unloving were sacred.

Removing the padlocks had always been allowed.

The despair was intended to drive me to the light outside the door.

Image result for never too late

Important Times to Play

My challenged nephew has reminded me that being goofy, making up a stupid song, quoting a comedian, doing a silly dance, and laughing out loud at my own seriousness are effective recovery techniques, especially when…

  1. I feel mean

  2. I want something that isn’t good for me

  3. I feel overwhelmed

  4. I am disappointed

  5. I am sad

  6. I am afraid

  7. I am jealous or angry at someone

  8. I feel wronged

  9. Things don’t make sense

  10. I have a resting bitch face

Image result for playing god quotes

Related image