forgiveness

October 5, 2017

Let’s Be Honest about Walking a Fine Line

Things that I’d rather not be honest about but when I am, it makes me less judgmental and easier to be around:
I am disgusting sometimes too. It’s not just the people I criticize.
I have lied and manipulated facts when I was scared of getting in trouble.
I have made myself look better than I actually was.
I have feared rejection and looking unworthy to others.
I have sometimes done things to get attention.
Sometimes, I have even wished awful things upon cable and mobile phone companies (whom I perceived to be arrogant).
I have screamed at family members like a crazy woman and would have killed my sister if I could have gotten away with it.


We may not have killed people, but most of us have thought about it.
That makes me more prone to forgive people who actually fall off the edge.

July 18, 2017

Are They Evil or Just Constipated?

Humans are mean, uncooperative, or difficult for lots of reasons other than being “evil.” (It’s important to remember that when hurt, or when on social media.)

Sometimes they have been scarred by evil.

Sometimes they are blinded by fear.

Sometimes they are just as prone to screwing-up as I am (when hurting).

When I remember to take this into consideration, tolerance and compassion come easier.

 People who are not afraid to be tolerant and compassionate are the type of people I want to be around.
April 7, 2017

Falling Upward

This Richard Rohr quote pretty much sums up the tragic plots of countless movies, TV shows, books, and plays (see Shakespeare, Kite Runner, Game of Thrones, This is Us, Madmen, etc.), but also sadly, wars and worse.

 

We’ve heard it since we were children

We must forgive

Starting with ourselves

Yet, we try to beat the odds

And hold on to vapor

Groping like madmen

For the protection of liars

Who will go down with us

Unless we collapse into truth

And choose to fall upward

 

(Original post March 2017)

October 21, 2016

Not on Any Map

Image result for herman melville quotes

This quote from Moby Dick came to mind when I took out a map of the world with the intention of marking all the places I have worked and traveled. Truly grateful for having gone places I never thought I would, I am also keenly aware that the most transformative places I have been are not on any map.

This awareness, more than any other, helps me to look at other people with reverence and gentleness, even those people I don’t understand, agree with, or particularly like. Who could chart their journey through sadness, loss, love, discovery, disappointment, and change?

“Tread softly

For this is holy ground

Could we see with seeing eyes

The place we stand on is paradise”

– Christina Rossetti

September 21, 2015

Sight Vanishes

My nephew was hurt to know that his grandfather never held him or really noticed him when he was a baby. I tried to explain that it wasn’t about him, it was,  rather, about my father’s “inability to see” due to preoccupation with himself.

My nephew acted indignant until I reminded him of our own tendency to be self-absorbed. Time and wear narrows the scope of any person who doesn’t cultivate “the ability to see” beyond their own needs and concerns.

Actively practicing concern for others prevents this “ability to see” from diminishing with age.

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untitled (81)

 

March 14, 2015

Formula

Two-Minute Tune-Up

The more I read and listen, the less time I spend re-inventing the wheel.

The more time I spend in meditation, the less time I spend chasing my tail.

The more I evaluate ALL my experience as valuable (even mistakes), the faster I succeed.

The more I refuse to bad mouth people in my past, the easier I transition into my future.

The more I give the benefit of the doubt, the greater the appreciation and respect I receive from others.

The more I trust that all will be well, the less drama I have in my daily life.

The more I relax into the whatever is happening, the faster conflicts are resolved.

successWhat a relief!

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August 7, 2014

Who Thrives?

I asked a prison psychologist what the biggest challenge of her job was. She said it was being willing to forgive rapists and murderers enough to try to help them.

To make it easier for herself she planted two seedlings in paper cups. One she placed on the window sill and watered regularly. The other she placed on a shelf and hardly ever watered. As she observed the stunted growth and the gnarly roots of the neglected plant, she grew more compassionate toward the “evil” men.

All healthy living things need:

  • The sunshine of love
  • Means to receive nutrients

Also (critical for thinking and confusable humans):

  • Clarity about how to avoid a loss of those two things

When people are confused about this, unfortunate things happen to them.

nurture

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

October 29, 2013

I like this Noose. I’m So Used to It.

“I don’t care if it is killing me. I believe what I believe (even if it is a lie).”

So the other day I talked to this guy who insisted he was too awful to ever be forgiven. I asked him if he had ever killed anyone and he said no. I asked him if he had people tied up in his cellar and he said no. I told him about John Newton, former slave-trader who wrote the song, Amazing Grace.

I told him about all sorts of people who had done despicable things, made amends, accepted forgiveness, and gone on to live productive lives. No facts or evidence could entice him toward hope.

He just wanted to talk about his misery.

byron katie

thoughts

 

October 22, 2013

“Who Deserves Your Forgiveness?” Formula

  1. Calculate the number of people who have ever lived. (We’ll call this value M)
  2. Subtract the number of people (not counting God, Jesus, or children) who have never screwed up. (We’ll call this value Z)
  3. Divide by the number of offenses (70×7) allowable per person.
  4. Multiply this number by the “better to give than receive” quotient (2).

forgive

5. Gee. Guess it might be advisable to get busy forgiving.

June 28, 2013

Even the Brutally Cruel?

Sister Helen Prejean, made famous by the movie Dead Man Walking, has dedicated her life to ending capital punishment and helping death row inmates and their victims. She believes that even men like Robert Willie, a brutal murderer, deserves to be seen and treated as “a son of God.”

Victims of brutality may, understandably, have difficulties with that.

In Forgiving the Dead Man Walking, Debbie Morris reveals her own struggle to forgive Robert Willie for kidnapping, raping, torturing, and attempting to murder her. Her book begs us to consider, “Is there any crime, any hurt, any person beyond the power of forgiveness?” When asked about her feelings on capital punishment, Debbie maintains that her healing didn’t come by the death of her tormentor, but rather by forgiving him.

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