Friday the 13th was my mother’s lucky day.
I can’t remember ever having a bad Friday the 13th, well, except maybe the day I went to see “Friday the 13th,” but, the superstitions part of me still wants to have it’s say. When Friday the 13th comes around, I hear myself thinking, “Uh-oh, watch out!” But, this year, I do not intend to listen.
Several years ago I started naming my years. Even-numbered years had always been my favorite until I noticed that the odd-numbered years had been more productive for me. So, instead of entertaining doubts at the beginning of 2018, I named 2018, “My Best Year Ever.”
And…it has been.
I’m carrying over that lesson:
Getting my head around this understanding of failure has been a real challenge.
Failure, to me, was always…
I spent many years hiding rejection scars, pretending I hadn’t failed, blaming and shaming myself and others about failures before I ever experienced the joy of failing forward.
“Failure is not your enemy but your guide to improvement.”
Changing to the habit of excepting my humanity, even laughing at my propensity to fail, has brought me massive relief…and always…closer to success.
“…only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand–and melting like a snowflake.” –Francis Bacon
Sometimes I am shocked into considering the ridiculous brevity of my life by…looking up at the vast universe or by looking back into the history of generations of people who have already lived and died. Sometimes it is a brutal confrontation with death in a dream or in an unexpected tragedy. But, when this happens, my life takes on the more noble qualities of:
- a sense of urgency to live fully today
- a sensitivity about what really matters
- a renewed commitment to live with courage, compassion, and surrender
I can make the sparkle and the melting count today. I can do what I was born to do with cheerful abandon.
Or, I can fret, fear, despair, complain, and squander what little I have left.
(encore post from July 2014)
My work is mostly about unraveling misunderstandings between people.
So many accusations. So many disappointments. So many troubled relationships.
I’ve found that one of the most helpful ways to deal with how people disappoint us is to remember that we are a “people” too, disappointing others just as others have disappointed us. Kipling’s quote below is harsh but contains so much truth.
When I quit defending myself long enough to admit my own dishonesty, disguising parts of myself I think others won’t like, I can forgive others for the same.
Accepting the crazy part of being human sure makes it easier to believe that others are doing the best they can, as well.
Wholesale condemnation, even though it makes me feel temporarily better about myself, only makes it worse for everyone in the long run.