10 Ways to Stop People from Rolling Their Eyes at Us

  1. Quit nagging. (They’ve already heard it from us too many times. Set boundaries and contingencies instead.)

  2. Quit bragging. (How ever subtlety we do it.)

  3. Quit saying, “I know.” (Say Thank you or That’s interesting instead.)

  4. Quit hustling for worthiness. (Affirm yourself.)

  5. Quit onloading worry and fear on others. (Grow a pair.)

  6. Quit under-or over-communicating. (Listen to understand rather than to respond. Pause, breathe, and think about other points of view before speaking.)

  7. Quit blaming and shaming others. (Learn no-fault communication. Remember we are all human.)

  8. Quit expecting others to change. (Change what we can control: ourselves.)

  9. Quit procrastinating. (Do what we say we’ll do.)

  10. Quit lying or exaggerating. (Admit mistakes. Ask for forgiveness.)

 

How Much for that Genuine Article?

Whatever you do today
Don’t miss the fun of being genuinely, authentically you

Not an imitation of someone

You thought was somehow better than
Or more interesting than you
Not a replica of the ideal you (minus your secrets)
Whom you prefer people to believe is really you
Instead of the version of yourself who is buried in worry
About your past, money, future, weight, weaknesses, habits or acne

Because, (and this is really important)

When you are buried or hiding the whole you
The bargain hunters won’t be able to find you
And celebrate all the way home
Texting their friends with the news
That their life has suddenly changed

Because of you

(Original Post May 2013)

Go on. Get Drunk.

This probably sounds outrageously absurd…unless you have tried it.

I dare you.

Even if you are in the pits.

Sit down and start making a list of…

  • all the people who have EVER done anything nice for you
  • the most beautiful things you have ever seen
  • your body parts that are still useful and NOT hurting
  • moments that made you laugh out loud
  • your favorite songs
  • should I go on?

If we resist the temptation to say, “Yeah, but…” or get sidetracked by some complaint or heartbreak, we can’t avoid the flicker of joy, the smile, then the laugh.

And, if we continue to wallow in our favorite things (until we can’t remember why we forgot about them), people in our lives will begin to want what we are having.

That’s the Way I Like It

 

It’s pretty normal to sigh about our workload…or lack of work…or not being able to have what we want…or what went wrong…or the seemingly unfair absence of hope.

But, there is only one way to keep our discouragement from defining us: choose to meditate on the things we have versus the things we don’t have.

Catching myself sighing, getting bored, anxious, or pronouncing judgement on my life is the first step.

The second step is recovering my delight in my heart beat, or oxygen, or the beauty in something that exists in my memory or right now.

Practiced Satisfaction.

Practiced Deep Satisfaction.

So I can smile at the future and be ready for more.

(The essence of the Law of Attraction. Be attractive. Change your vibration. Attract beauty.)

Feeling Like Somebody?

Nobody likes to be around someone who thinks they are somebody who is more important than everybody else.

But, everyone likes to be around someone who makes them feel like a somebody.

A really cool thing; even on the days when I feel like a nobody, I still have the power to make somebody else feel like a somebody.  (Knowing what it feels like to be a nobody helps me remember the importance of doing this.)

The even cooler thing; we are all broken yet still somebody. And, if I know I am a somebody, but no more of a somebody than you, and you are a somebody but no more of a somebody than me, that’s the perfect condition to make the most of our somebodyness…together.

Why This Is Not a Joke

When resources are sparse and our circumstances are bleak, this poster feels like a cruel joke.

Yet, when we dismiss our cynicism, we’ll experience why visualizing unlimited abundance is worth the effort:

1) Dreaming puts a smile on our face. (Ask your friends, family, and coworkers which they prefer, the smile or the grimace?)
2) Visualization is scientifically proven to change our body chemistry, disarming harmful toxins that feed dis-ease. (Ask your body what it wants, angst or relaxation?)
3) Relaxing into hope stamps out doubt, worry, and anger. (Ask your past which worked better, despair or faith?)
4) Stopping long enough to recalibrate gives us the energy to take positive steps forward. (Ask anyone which works better, giving up or gearing up?)

(Original post 2013)

What Measurement to Use?

My nephew was depressed about his IQ, so we discussed other measurements that were more important. We finally decided that he had a head start on life since becoming “as a little child” was the “kingdom of heaven” criteria.

“Let the little children come to me.”

I am so at home with people who measure others by kindness versus status, looks, intelligence, or money.

Remembering that topsy-turvy economy keeps me sane…especially when the distribution of those other commodities seems a bit lopsided.

Am I Missing Something?

A smile is an opening

For the right words

But also for the right thoughts

Which create the capacity

For receiving 

What we could not receive before

“Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it.” -Tagore

Create the capacity. Enjoy what you have been given. Get ready for amazement.

Steps for creating capacity:

  1. Smile at the future
  2. Forgive yourself
  3. Be gentle with others
  4. Relax into now
  5. Open your arms to give and receive
  6. See the gifts
  7. Feel the joy

Steps for shrinking our capacity:

  1. Feel cheated
  2. Mourn the loss
  3. Resist reality
  4. Hold grudges
  5. Worry about not having enough
  6. Be selfish
  7. Keep talking trash about ourselves, others, and the world

Living Vicarously on our Couch?

The sense of danger must not disappear:
The way is certainly both short and steep.
However gradual It looks from here;
Look if you like, but you will have to leap.

This stanza from W.H. Auden’s poem is certainly about risky love, but the sentiment can be applied to a multitude of decisions in our lives that will take us off the beaten path, away from the mundane, and into a more adventurous, fulfilling life.

Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts to becoming that person we admire.

We can’t kid ourselves forever. Living vicariously on our couch through media, books, sports, fantasy or our children will never be enough.

Today, I wish that courage to leap for you and for me.

(originally posted in October 2015)