In a recent, vivid dream, I was being treated with great care and attention in opulent surroundings. I loved the special feeling this gave me, yet, in the dream, I also knew the lavish treatment was frighteningly subject to change; based completely upon my money and allegiance.
On the other hand, in real life, I can be okay with “third-class treatment” if I am detached from others’ opinions of me. Not in-your-face, making-a-statement detached: instead, a healthy independence where I care about people simply to care about people (not to influence what I might get in return).
This is the purest state of peace I have ever known.
(Disclaimer: I do not want to minimize the most horrible pain of finding that your child is responsible for the death of someone else. These are only ancillary thoughts about my own disconnect that were triggered by their reactions.)
I heard the parents of two accused murderers say in television interviews, “My son is not capable of that type of behavior.” My first thought was they were in serious denial until I remembered telling a fourth-grade teacher, “My son wouldn’t do that” when she told me he was lying and misbehaving.
How easy it is to be clueless about the people we love when…
- We are invested in our own agendas for them
- They are afraid to let us know who they really are
Much of the pain, surprise, and disappointment I have experienced with people would have been prevented by loving more and playing God less.
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde. – Dolly Parton
I love this quote because it reminds me of two very important truths:
1) If I get prickly when someone criticizes me, it may be because I do have issues that I am trying to hide or am afraid to confront,
2) If I get prickly when someone criticizes me, it may be because I am taking myself too seriously.
Like Dolly, if I know I am not dumb, I have absolutely nothing to worry about. If I am dumb, I’ll own it, then focus on something else that is my strength.
No worries. No drama. Thanks for the feedback.