Loving the Questions

I love hanging around people who know they don’t know as much as they once thought they knew and are completely okay with it.

What a relief to enjoy someone’s company without having to navigate around insecurities, posturing, or pontificating.

And what a thrill to share conversation with someone who understands that questioning themselves and their suppositions is a very good thing!

Image result for kouzes and posner quotes

“Don’t Let Me Get Me”

Today, I listened to colleagues tell tragic story after tragic story from their emergency room experiences. Most of the stories involved self-inflicted injuries. As I listened to the sheer insanity of it all, I thought of how powerful our mind is to confuse and mislead.  I thought of the dark times that I had experienced and the thought patterns that took me there.

What a powerful reminder to choose with reverence the thoughts and words that will lodge into my subconscious, so to lead myself into harmony and not into confusion, boredom, despair, or discord.

When Einstein was trudging through his work on relativity, he said he would have to stop and play his violin until he could reconnect to what he called the “harmony of the spheres.”

There is nothing more important that we can do for ourselves.

“Deep Belief in Your Own Somebodiness”

I saw a lot of tributes to MLK Jr. yesterday. This one inspired me the most. The first element of his instruction for having a life “blueprint” was to have a “deep belief in your dignity, worth, and somebodiness.”

The word is odd but it hits the spot for me.

Especially when circumstances kick me around.

Especially when “everyone else” seems more successful and more…everything.

Especially when the world seems to be an unloving place for so many.

https://www.facebook.com/goalcast/videos/1294330473977473/

“I’m Gonna Use This for the Rest of My Life”

Inky Johnson lost his career in one football tackle. When he woke up in the hospital after a life-saving surgery, the doctor told him, “Son, you will never be able to use you right arm and shoulder again.” Inky responded, “You’re wrong. I’m alive. I’m gonna use this for the rest of my life.”

And he has. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cznfzIP1tTs

When I use the things that life brings me with gusto, my happiness doesn’t derail, joy doesn’t skip a beat, and I don’t multiply misery.

I want adversity to reveal my strength, not my immaturity; my patience, not my whining; my discipline, not my laziness.

Adversity will come. I will move with it (as Inky demonstrates)…deeper into my core of power.

“I’m the Only One Who Ever Does the Dishes Around Here”

I whined about my workload more times than I can count. Once, when I said, “I’m the only one who ever does the dishes around here,” someone responded, “So, don’t do them anymore. I’d rather have a dirty kitchen than be around a martyr.”

Although, not the answer I was going for, he had a very good point. No one enjoys the poor-little-me martyr. Setting boundaries and agreements is a much better option.

In offices and homes all over the world, people are getting bitter about other people not shouldering their fair share of the work and carrying around bitterness about it. That bitterness infects and dismantles relationships, contributes to ulcers and illness, and sucks the fun out of any environment. I’m not advocating rewarding irresponsible behaviors, only managing them productively.

Solution:

  1. Tell people what you need.

  2. Agree on a plan.

  3. Set contingencies for exceptions and failures.

  4. Follow through without drama.

Goodbye martyrdom!

Image result for whiners quotes

Image result for whiners quotes

Knowing Our Own Vibe

Important Information about our “vibe:”

  • Being unaware of our own energy is a very common ailment

  • Vibes are not neutral. They are either spreading energy or sucking it out like a vacuum cleaner

  • Most difficult people think they don’t suck

  • Control freaks don’t have a good vibe

  • I usually don’t know that I am gone into the controlling, negative, or “bia” zone until someone tells me

  • If we haven’t given people permission to comment on our energy (without getting their heads bitten off), odds are we are part of the bad-vibe problem

  • If we think people are jerks, uncaring, a-holes, idiots, well…expect more of the same

Related image

(Your vibe attracts your tribe.)

The Whole Picture of a Role Model

Because everything is praise and success for Tesla and Spacex right now, it would be easy to underrate Elon Musk’s pain behind his bold life. Just a few years ago, he had mammoth failures and crushing criticism from everywhere, even from his heroes.

The following quote captures a day in the life…

In 2018, I can use Elon Musk’s reminder that giving up and living small is not the option I want to take.

When I Take Time to Hear Myself

The first step I must take in order to become the very best version of myself is to pay attention to my thoughts and words. Besides catching myself saying negative things, I also review my conversations to catch the times I exaggerated, wasn’t completely honest, or talked too much.

Take time to really hear your Self. - JoAnnaRothman #YourDailyGift http://www.joannarothman.com/take-time-really-hear-self-joannarothman-yourdailygift

When I take the time to really hear myself, it is sometimes painful, yet, that pain gives me more incentive to grow and change.

Not sure if there is actual scientific proof to support this whole claim but it certainly is proven that stress can make you ill in many different ways.

Control Center Alert

Although, I ignored my “Control Center Alert” instructions for years, due to time spent in deep, dark pits, I now pay attention.

IN CASE OF:

  • Overwhelm

  • Tragedy

  • Panic

  • Depression

  • Exhaustion

“…think about these things…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy…”

Dwelling on what is scary, dreary, horrid, painful, wrong, and depressing never worked.

Even though it seemed counter-intuitive and too simple, soaking my brain in beauty did. I now use books and the internet to refuel on success stories, overcoming obstacles, recovery-after-tragedy, unexpected-redemption-in-dark-places, love, loyalty, art, nature, animals, and role-models. The change I feel inside is immediate.

Pain to progress. Darkness to light.

Related image

The Important Work of Controlling a Speck on a Speck

Right before bed, I had a very troubling phone conversation.

My first thought was, “I won’t be able to sleep.”

My second thought was, “If I manage to get to sleep, I will have terrible, turbulent dreams.”

My third thought was, “My life is a speck on a speck that will be over in a flash. Worrying about a speck in the life of a speck on a speck in a galaxy that is a speck in the universe is insane!”

I smiled at myself for trying to control another speck on a speck, turned off my thoughts, and went right to sleep.

When I woke up blissfully rested, I thought, “Not so bad for a speck on a speck. I think I’ll try that again tonight.”