We Don’t Have to Make Others Look Worse to Feel Better about Ourselves

Resist the urge.

Resist the urge to spout blame, shame, accusations, and comparisons.

To do so is as common as oxygen but as toxic as cyanide.

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Trying to balance the scale by bringing others down is often driven by guilt and always steals your gravitas.

Noble people know their own value and do not have to defend it.

Want Relief from the Sting of Criticism?

It’s a magic vaccination; when I give the benefit of a doubt, when I refrain from accusations, when I invest my emotions in showing mercy instead of in judging others, gradually (and suddenly) the sting of criticism loses its power. I am able to say, “It’s okay. Forgive them for not understanding” to my own amazement!

How it works is a mystery
(But it just does)
Kindness somehow crawls into my soul
And grows
As malignancy had done before
But now it is love that calls the shots
And keeps the score

Let my mind
Blood pressure
Digestion and
Immune system prepare for sweet relief
Of a quality it could never know before


(Original post October 2014)

Don’t Complain. Reclaim.

Reclaim your birthright and bring your authentic, unique self to bear upon the world.

Reclaim your birthright of power vs. powerlessness.

If you woke up today, you have power! And that power isn’t complaining and pronouncing your poor-little-ole-me victimhood.

Rise to your full stature and your purpose (even if you don’t fully know what that is yet).

Your purpose certainly isn’t focusing your blame, angst, or dissatisfaction upon politicians, bosses, family, or whomever else may have disappointed you.

Today is a day to…

  • grow past childlike behaviors and take charge of you
  • shine
  • be the hero the world is waiting for

Reclaim. Don’t Complain.

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Feeling Ambivilent

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Some days I am unsure about everything.

Should I work toward a goal or let it go?

Should I feel good about myself or bad about myself?

Should I be kind to someone or let them have it?

Should I care?

On those days (lately) what works:

  1. Talk it out with a trusted friend who will listen until you ask for their advice.
  2. Don’t argue with the help they offer. Listen. Appreciate.
  3. Have confidence that clarity will come when I need it.
  4. Be kind while I wait.

Yesterday a book came in the mail that I had ordered several weeks ago. It was exactly what I needed to read. (Anything You Want, Derek Sivers)

The ambivalence brought important questions to the surface.

Ambivalence didn’t kill me.

Craig’s “Nice” List

  1. Most of us have benefited from Craig Newmark’s philosophy of giving away free information on Craigslist. He had the opportunity to monetize all of it but chose to create a business model that prioritized “doing well by doing good.” 

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2. His foundation promotes investment in organizations that effectively serve their communities and advance integrity.

3. “Throughout my career, my failure to recognize the need for effective communications has done me a lot of damage.” To make up for his own failure, he requires recipients of his grants to get smart about their own communications.

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4. Craig also loves to feed birds and neighborhood doggies and make babies smile.

Thank you, Craig, for using your smarts to make the world nicer for us.

Bring Day of the Dead Alive!

The Day of the Dead  (Día de Muertos) is a Mexican holiday celebrated from October 31st-November 2nd that focuses on gatherings to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died and to help support their spiritual journey.

I was cynical about the holiday until I watched Disney’s Coco. Now I really get it! What an entertaining way to learn culture and appreciate death and forgiveness in a new way.

If I had seen this movie as a kid, it would have helped me get over my fear of death! And, it might have helped me learn more forgiveness and compassion, too.

If you haven’t yet seen Disney’s Coco, today might be the best day to do so.

The music alone is worth seeing the movie for.

Remember Me (Recuerdame) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWK_VlekdwM

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Path #One or Path #Two?

I woke after a stark nightmare with these words describing the vacancy tragedy brings:

Yesterday went missing.
Stolen abruptly
by a merciless tomorrow.
Today is only the frantic flutter,
The rude whoosh of wind
The one sad,
Slow-floating feather.

The feeling is what it is, but our reality will always be what we make it…simply by the definition we give it.

Path One: I am ruined.
Path Two: I am able.
Path One: There is no hope.
Path Two: There is no giving up. Hope and help is coming for me.

Go Glow.

“Each of us has a glow, an inner glow, which we can use to illuminate other people’s darkness. That’s what love is, that’s what a relationship is, that’s what being a parent is, and that’s what being a friend is.” – Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

When I read this quote in Elise Ballard’s book, Epiphany, my mind went to catching lightning bugs as a child and watching them light up everything.

I never realized I could do the same.

Rabbi Shmuley had no evidence of his own “glow” until someone “glowed” by telling him he was going to be a great light to others.

How do we glow today?

It may be with words, or it may be by doing something for others that seems unpleasant to us…or so someone else won’t have to.

Go glow.

Considering “Global Boring,” Is My Commentary Really Needed?

(Maturity is realizing how many things don’t require your comment. – Rachel Wolchin)

And, when we finally hold in the words that will benefit no one, we gift…

  • silence (instead of noise)
  • kindness (instead of judging)
  • humility (instead of overrating our own importance)
  • listening (instead of nagging)
  • learning (instead of assuming we know)
  • growing as a human being, and
  • refusing to waste the airspace with our trivia or pettiness

I once asked my mother if she thought she could go one day without complaining.

She responded, “If I quit complaining, I think I would fall over dead.”

“Hmmm,” I said, “In that case, can we just try it and see what happens?”

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Doing my part to stop GLOBAL BORING. 🙂