humility

February 17, 2024

Becoming the Person I Thought I Was

Sometimes through the miracle of a dream or a random flash of vulnerability, I see an unflattering picture of myself through someone else’s eyes.

In that instant, something radical will happen to me. I will either side-step the revelation by activating my defense-mechanisms and covering my pain with all manner of creative camouflage or I will decide to learn.

As painful as it is, these are magic moments in my life, moments when I grow up, when I become kinder and better and become more of the person I thought I already was.

Do justice, love kindness, walk humbly…

February 2, 2022

We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know

And it is a lot more than we think we don’t know.

Proportionately to what we know, it is much worse than the following graphic indicates.

The problem is a combination of thinking we know and thinking no one else knows anything much more than what we know.

In other words, ignorance, arrogance, and cynicism have radical power to keep us from our best life.

Such as how the physical therapist showed me a simple fix for a back issue that I should have known thirty-three years ago. Duh. All this time!

But that is a minor oversight compared to the ones that have caused unnecessary pain for others and sent a ripple of destruction out into the world.

We can’t know everything, but we can prioritize the humble pursuit of wisdom.

And nothing lights the fire under me for that pursuit more than seeing the price I pay for being a know-it-all.

June 23, 2020

Feeding the Fire of Chaos

I can safely assume that I only know a fraction of what I think I know.

If I make a daily habit of pondering that, versus guarding my opinions, I gain access to life-altering truths:

  • the bulk of my condemnations of others will prove inaccurate
  • when I label someone’s opinion as screwed up, it is just as possible mine is screwed-up too
  • lack of in-depth exposure to another’s personality, culture, or experience will cloud my judgement of their priorities and choices
  • shunning or shaming decreases my intelligence

Quotes From History on Twitter: "If everyone is thinking the same ...

On a podcast, a host and his guests mocked those who resisted working remotely. Seemed so obvious.

Yet any judgement touted as the only accurate one, feeds the fire of chaos–even when the issue is very small.

November 7, 2019

Please, No More Words!

Image result for humility quotes

If our employees are not rolling their eyes when we pontificate about our success, it is probably because they don’t want to lose their jobs.

If our friends are not rolling their eyes when we pontificate about our opinions, it is probably because they don’t want to hurt our feelings.

If our kids, siblings, and romantic partners are not rolling their eyes when we pontificate about what they should do, it is probably because they have tuned us out.

Never too late to learn…

Questions work better than sermons, dialog better than nagging, and giving another the chance to show what they know, better than telling what we know…even when what we know comes from hard knocks and a place of certainty.

Word.

December 23, 2016

When Humility Is the Only Sane Option

minions-and-opinions3

Harsh but sometimes we ask for it. We screw up. We miss all the cues. We listen to the wrong people. We act selfishly. We throw caution and our future to the wind. We indulge. We go against reason.

On those occasions, we do ourselves a big favor by owning it sans excuses.

March 25, 2016

How Wrong Can We Be?

Reading Linda Hervieux’s book Forgotten about the black heroes of WWII who not only went unrecognized for their courageous efforts, but were also terribly mistreated, has tempered my righteous indignation toward ISIS.

While condemning terrorists and wondering how they could possibly justify their actions, we, under the influence of flawed belief systems, have also committed atrocious injustices. In this land of the free and home of the brave, we have justified witch hunts, the annihilation of Native Americans, lynchings of African Americans, and wholesale unfair treatment of minorities.

Terrorism is detestable and always will be, yet it should remind each of us of how so very wrong we can be while believing we are so completely right.

I am so very sorry for the victims of my own ignorance.

March 4, 2016

“I Knows It All”

After discussing how we could continuously improve our relationship, my husband told me he found the source of poor communication, producing a can of energy drink. “I-NOS-IT-OL (I-knows-it-all),” he said, “I have too much of this in my bloodstream.”

can pic

Hmmm, I thought, he does drink a can every day. That could be it. Yet, I never drink it, so how do we explain my “I-knows-it-all” problem?

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could drink humility from a can and eliminate arrogance with a simple diet modification?

Since we can’t, I’ll have to work on listening to, learning from, and delighting in the presence of those with whom I share the planet. While I do, it’s so nice to have a partner who doesn’t take himself too seriously. Ahhh…how refreshing.

October 13, 2015

Choices We Make After We Embarrass Ourselves

           A. We can own it, apologize, admit we were wrong or that we overreacted, and do better next time.

          B. We can pretend it didn’t happen and deceive ourselves into thinking that others will forget about it.

          C. We can justify our behavior, vilify other people, and project blame upon others in an attempt to look or feel better.

The second option will stunt awareness, stifle maturity, and postpone relief. The third option will lead to lying, sleep problems, hatred, confusion, substance abuse, and psychosis.

Our challenge: To be honest and love ourselves enough to recognize when we have chosen option B or C.

humble-pie

St.-Augustine-quote-on-humility

May 5, 2013

Fooled Again

dostoevsky quoteBecause we screw up more often than we think. Only time will reveal that:

1. We never really had it all figured out

2. We weren’t as together as we thought we were

3. There were always new things to learn from our enemies

4. More often than not, we passed judgement without sufficient information.

Confidence is good, but, it is better when tempered with this humility to admit perpetual blind spots, miscalculations, and imperfections.

BTW…for those like me who wrestle with self-confidence, I am not advocating a false humility, a constant belittling of ourselves, or calling ourselves idiots; rather a grounded self-image and freedom from having to defend ourselves, our position, or our self-worth all the time.

 

March 30, 2013

Two-MInute Tune-Up 3.30.13 “I Don’t Care if My Brain Is Leaking”

My mother-in-law’s friend had lost weight taking a diet pill before it was found to cause deterioration of cranial bone cells. (Her neighbor’s constant runny nose had proven to be the leakage of Cerebral-Spinal Fluid from holes in her skull caused by this pill!) The friend said, “So. I’m not going to quit taking it. I’ve lost 25 pounds!”

This is a radical example, but most of us won’t change even though our behavior defies reason.

Two of my own insane practices that have been pointed out to me are not listening enough and hurting feelings with my humor. I didn’t have an urgency to change because I thought I was okay just the way I was.

This probably explains Donald Trump’s hair, too.

always right

 

 

 

 

What a way to self-destruct.