The most beautiful and lasting euphoria I have ever experienced has come from almost embarrassingly small things: victories over my fears:
- a tandem bungee jump
- fighting an “attacker” in a self-defense class
- resisting temptation that had formerly controlled me
- having the courage to face rejection
- giving when I thought I had nothing to give
“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” -Rikki Rogers
Life is often ironic. Be willing to give it all in order to receive. Be willing to die in order to live.
The more one judges, the less one loves and the less one feels loved.
Whatever we give we will get back.
- Most who judge others harshly go into a tailspin when they make a mistake.
- Our judging is fueled by an illusion that we are somehow superior, and when that illusion topples, it messes up our elaborate construct of self-respect.
- It is easier to hate and judge others because doing so helps us avoid our own part of the problem.
- When we avoid our own conscience, we betray ourselves and that feels bad.
- Instead of feeling bad, we get temporary relief by blaming others for stuff instead.
When we do an inventory of our lives and we don’t have enough love, there is only one fix:
Judge less. Love more.
Recently, when my phone had been silent for a while, I was surprised by the thought, “I guess no one loves me.” I urgently changed that path by picking up the phone to remind others that I loved them.
No more silence.
In that same week, my email box was empty of substantial mail and the thought crossed my mind, “I guess no one needs my services.” I quickly made a U-turn by initiating contact with people who might need me but were busy or something.
The inbox filled up within the hour.
How creepy that I had started using my electronic communications to “feel better about myself” instead of as a tool for making a difference.
I have found this simple lesson to have implications anytime I feel crazy about what I need.
According to research presented in Daniel Pink’s book When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, the single best predictor of a good employee/boss relationship is how prompt the boss is at returning calls, texts, and emails.
In my experience, it is also a good predictor of…
- a successful client/vendor relationship
- a happy romantic relationship
- salesperson/potential customer relationship
- any other relationship I can think of
I have met some very brilliant and interesting people, many with whom I would have loved to work or get to know better, yet, if they failed to show a sense of urgency, stood me up, or constantly rescheduled appointments, I moved on.
The most common excuse is “I am too busy,” yet, the best bosses (salespeople, partners, etc.) are never too busy for their priorities.
When we wonder why relationships aren’t working better, it might be good to start here.
Maybe it was from my steady childhood diet of horror movies, but somehow I became one of the biggest chickens of all time.
- My heart races at the drop of a hat.
- My stomach turns at the slightest thought of trouble.
- Fear and resistance are my first responses to the smallest challenge.
To counteract these default settings, I have learned to review a mental “tape” of my bold-people heroes when in high-stake environments.
If I don’t, you will find me running for cover or whimpering in the corner.
What a difference it has made for me when…
- confronted with an undesirable task
- someone needs to go first
- there is danger
- I might be rejected or mocked
Important Information about our “vibe:”
Being unaware of our own energy is a very common ailment
Vibes are not neutral. They are either spreading energy or sucking it out like a vacuum cleaner
Most difficult people think they don’t suck
Control freaks don’t have a good vibe
I usually don’t know that I am gone into the controlling, negative, or “bia” zone until someone tells me
If we haven’t given people permission to comment on our energy (without getting their heads bitten off), odds are we are part of the bad-vibe problem
If we think people are jerks, uncaring, a-holes, idiots, well…expect more of the same
(Your vibe attracts your tribe.)
Believe that you are helpless because someone or something is conspiring against you.
That is “the kiss of death” for…
or any other type of enduring prosperity
I wasted too much of my valuable time complaining about how unfair life was, about office politics, the good-ole-boy club, politicians, and random conspiracy theories instead of proceeding with confidence in an abundant universe. Now, I’m sure there was a conspiracy. Life was rigged…in my favor!
The happiest and most successful people live life as if everything is rigged in their favor!
“Once you start to dislike someone, everything they do begins to annoy you.”
Although, there is a smart way to opt out of the pain of living or working around someone who annoys us to death: we can choose to think about the things we appreciate about them before it is too late.
Or, we can join the crowd and set fire to another bridge.
Wise people don’t give up on people that easily.