Loving the Questions

I love hanging around people who know they don’t know as much as they once thought they knew and are completely okay with it.

What a relief to enjoy someone’s company without having to navigate around insecurities, posturing, or pontificating.

And what a thrill to share conversation with someone who understands that questioning themselves and their suppositions is a very good thing!

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“Don’t Let Me Get Me”

Today, I listened to colleagues tell tragic story after tragic story from their emergency room experiences. Most of the stories involved self-inflicted injuries. As I listened to the sheer insanity of it all, I thought of how powerful our mind is to confuse and mislead.  I thought of the dark times that I had experienced and the thought patterns that took me there.

What a powerful reminder to choose with reverence the thoughts and words that will lodge into my subconscious, so to lead myself into harmony and not into confusion, boredom, despair, or discord.

When Einstein was trudging through his work on relativity, he said he would have to stop and play his violin until he could reconnect to what he called the “harmony of the spheres.”

There is nothing more important that we can do for ourselves.

“Deep Belief in Your Own Somebodiness”

I saw a lot of tributes to MLK Jr. yesterday. This one inspired me the most. The first element of his instruction for having a life “blueprint” was to have a “deep belief in your dignity, worth, and somebodiness.”

The word is odd but it hits the spot for me.

Especially when circumstances kick me around.

Especially when “everyone else” seems more successful and more…everything.

Especially when the world seems to be an unloving place for so many.

https://www.facebook.com/goalcast/videos/1294330473977473/

It Only Took a Lifetime

It only took a lifetime to…

  • forgive myself (and others) for being human
  • learn the value of me
  • quit comparing
  • notice the teaming life around me
  • smile (instead of sneer) at my uniqueness
  • delight in the Universe
  • laugh at being a (valuable and unlikely) speck on a speck
  • remember how to get the most out of life by playing

Please Don’t Try to Help Me out or “Serve” Me If…

So, back to the dishes.

If we do them or do any other act of service with resentment, superiority, complaining, bitterness, distaste, or a judgmental attitude we are probably doing more harm than good. Kahlil Gibran compares this behavior to a baker putting poison in the bread that he bakes.

Even the “love chapter” in the Bible labels acts that are done without love, however impressive they may be, as noise, bad music, counterfeit money, and a waste of time.

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Most humans have “antennas” up for insincerity, arrogance, anger, and condescension. Nobody is really fooled by our “service.”

Maybe we should just do everyone a favor and quit kidding ourselves.

“I’m the Only One Who Ever Does the Dishes Around Here”

I whined about my workload more times than I can count. Once, when I said, “I’m the only one who ever does the dishes around here,” someone responded, “So, don’t do them anymore. I’d rather have a dirty kitchen than be around a martyr.”

Although, not the answer I was going for, he had a very good point. No one enjoys the poor-little-me martyr. Setting boundaries and agreements is a much better option.

In offices and homes all over the world, people are getting bitter about other people not shouldering their fair share of the work and carrying around bitterness about it. That bitterness infects and dismantles relationships, contributes to ulcers and illness, and sucks the fun out of any environment. I’m not advocating rewarding irresponsible behaviors, only managing them productively.

Solution:

  1. Tell people what you need.

  2. Agree on a plan.

  3. Set contingencies for exceptions and failures.

  4. Follow through without drama.

Goodbye martyrdom!

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Image result for whiners quotes

Knowing Our Own Vibe

Important Information about our “vibe:”

  • Being unaware of our own energy is a very common ailment

  • Vibes are not neutral. They are either spreading energy or sucking it out like a vacuum cleaner

  • Most difficult people think they don’t suck

  • Control freaks don’t have a good vibe

  • I usually don’t know that I am gone into the controlling, negative, or “bia” zone until someone tells me

  • If we haven’t given people permission to comment on our energy (without getting their heads bitten off), odds are we are part of the bad-vibe problem

  • If we think people are jerks, uncaring, a-holes, idiots, well…expect more of the same

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(Your vibe attracts your tribe.)

When I Take Time to Hear Myself

The first step I must take in order to become the very best version of myself is to pay attention to my thoughts and words. Besides catching myself saying negative things, I also review my conversations to catch the times I exaggerated, wasn’t completely honest, or talked too much.

Take time to really hear your Self. - JoAnnaRothman #YourDailyGift http://www.joannarothman.com/take-time-really-hear-self-joannarothman-yourdailygift

When I take the time to really hear myself, it is sometimes painful, yet, that pain gives me more incentive to grow and change.

Not sure if there is actual scientific proof to support this whole claim but it certainly is proven that stress can make you ill in many different ways.

Control Center Alert

Although, I ignored my “Control Center Alert” instructions for years, due to time spent in deep, dark pits, I now pay attention.

IN CASE OF:

  • Overwhelm

  • Tragedy

  • Panic

  • Depression

  • Exhaustion

“…think about these things…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy…”

Dwelling on what is scary, dreary, horrid, painful, wrong, and depressing never worked.

Even though it seemed counter-intuitive and too simple, soaking my brain in beauty did. I now use books and the internet to refuel on success stories, overcoming obstacles, recovery-after-tragedy, unexpected-redemption-in-dark-places, love, loyalty, art, nature, animals, and role-models. The change I feel inside is immediate.

Pain to progress. Darkness to light.

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Reflect & Reignite – 2018

Good practice!

Leadership Strikes

As we head into what will prove to be an exciting 2018, I wanted to reblog this annual practice reminder in hopes that it will prove to be helpful to readers…

As each year ends, my wife and I go through an exercise wherein we review our journals from the prior year, reflect on what we have, and in some cases have not, accomplished.

The end goal is to establish what our “top-ten highlight reel” might look like for the year gone by…we are typically amazed by all that has been achieved.

A post-exercise routine of comparing our respective “top-tens” is not only fun, but also provides a barometer for how well our values and beliefs are aligned, i.e. what’s truly important to each of us. It further reinforces the many blessings we have in our livesand the people and events that are shaping our destiny.

Further, this practice helps to create positive feelings and an…

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