But I Can’t Stop Long Enough to Do This

It is easier to move from thing to thing to thing than to stop and understand who I am that moves from thing to thing to thing.

I have learned from painful experience, that when I try to move from thing to thing to thing without first understanding who I am and who I am not, my work is inferior to the work I could have done had I taken the time to know first. 

When I am not occupied with protecting my self image, when I can smile at my finiteness, then I am the best version of myself, moving with lightness through time.

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It is so hard to know myself because I think the doing is the being.

I think I am here and I will always be here.

I think there is no mystery.

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The Illusion of Knowing People

The trick is

Getting still enough to see past the tower 

Of our own shadow

Into theirs

To slow down enough to take a walk

Into their secrecy

Leaving ours

To walk barefoot on their path of fallen leaves

Pushing aside the undergrowth

And the tentacles of our own briars

That choke their young

Untended foliage starving for daylight

A good Friday Question:

How long has it been since we simply admired those who grow beside us…without bringing our pruning shears?

 

Recalling the Currency

Recalling the Currency

We have forgotten it in this new world

Where trading is in the tangibles

Then

One day our heart swells uncomfortably in our chest

Or tears come embarrassingly out of nowhere

For a song or an image or an undeserved kindness

We, unsure why

May plan a life and

Work hard to cover the discomfort of the something

Tugging from our forgotten past

Yet, always in the end

However painful

We will recall the currency of love and invisible miracles

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Laugh or Cry?

Enjoying the comic episodes of life more could actually save our lives: bearing us courageously over the inevitable rough seas of disappointment, doubt, and despair. A good laugh tells our cells there is hope somewhere on the horizon, somewhere in this mysterious, whacked-out world.

It also makes us less of a drag to be around.

Want more hope? Want more companions?

Smile at the absurd.

Is It Black or Is It White?

This quote is not for the faint of heart, the young crusader, or the know-it all. I was all three when I argued on the black and white side. Similar to author Jeannette Walls, I graduated to gray after failing to force an ambiguous, mixed-up world into a tidy black and white box. Good people did screwed up things. Bad people did good things. Bad things turned out good. “Good things” turned out not so good.

No one managed to have a tight rein on truth.

Jeannette Wall’s parents (as chronicled in The Glass Castle) often let her go hungry. Despite this fact, she knew they loved her. Their behaviors took “dysfunctional” to a whole new level, yet their whacked-out worldview toughened and trained her voice to speak for millions.

Big Reflection from a Small Shimmer

In an elevator, I noticed light flashing randomly over the walls and ceiling. Looking for the source, I found it to be my watch band, reflecting wildly from slight movements of my hand. Something so small making all this beauty.

Of course I have seen it before

this reflective wonder

That I often ignore

But today I think of my own light

(and nothing is as small as it seems)

I feel my own power

Pulsing around me unseen

As wireless signals reach my phone

I chill to the knowledge

“I am not alone”

Rather

Ttransmitting energy everywhere

Now feeling electricity

In my fingertips and hair

Sensing the calling

The calling to shine

The calling to trust

(the magnified reflection) of my tiny and unlikely shine

 

Build with Love

Sometimes I complain too much about the difficult things life requires me to do. If I am smart, I will see what others can easily see; I need the re-construction, remodel, and renovation that occurs when I am doing a work of love for others, even if I can’t see a positive outcome.

Acknowledging the mystery of this often prevents me from tearing down valuable work with my own hands.

Where Did It Go?

Right before my sister’s body convulsed in the terrible grip of death, I received a gift from her learning-challenged son. He had been with me at her hospice bedside saying goodbye. After asking his mother to say hello to Elvis for him in heaven (which even garnered a wisp of a smile from her solemn, sedated face), he gave me his mother’s hand and said, “She’s gone. God took her with Him. Couldn’t you feel God here in the room?”

His confidence that she was no longer in that body has saved me from reliving the strange savagery of her end…over and over again.

I was reminded of this mystery of our souls’ departure by Temple Grandin’s story of Autism and her sensitivity to the death of animals. When the body of a euthanized horse collapsed, limp and empty, she asked about the spirit, “Where did it go?” 

Also in Elizabeth J. Church’s words about the heroin’s father’s death in The Atomic Weight of Love: “Where did all of that energy go? What happened to the bounty of his being, his love for us, for me?”

It’s an important observance and question. Those who see a bit differently often see more than the rest of us.

 

 

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What I am Not Alive for

What I am not alive for…

  • To feed and entertain this body so that I can do it again tomorrow and the next day
  • To make life difficult for someone else
  • To be the judge of what someone else is doing

If I woke up this morning, it’s because there is something for me to…

  • Learn
  • Love, or
  • Do

When we don’t know what our purpose is, passionately setting out to learn as much as possible, to love as much as we can, and to do all the good we are capable of is the fastest way to find out!

Becoming Charming

“Becoming a charming creature is to be one who is charmed by your own life and the lives of all whom you meet.” – Blair Lewis

Charm is a powerful thing, sometimes misused, but to use it beneficially and to charm the right people into our lives, believing this quote is the only effective starting place.

Breaking it down, it’s merely about delight and appreciation. When we have sincere, agenda-less, (no strings attached) appreciation and delight in someone, they’ll find us difficult to resist. Unfortunately, most of us are too busy sorting our own drama to actually delight in someone else. Once we do, and have unconditionally accepted ourselves, our history, and our circumstances, suddenly we have time and energy to find others charming! Then, Voila! Life changes.

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