“I’m Gonna Use This for the Rest of My Life”

Inky Johnson lost his career in one football tackle. When he woke up in the hospital after a life-saving surgery, the doctor told him, “Son, you will never be able to use you right arm and shoulder again.” Inky responded, “You’re wrong. I’m alive. I’m gonna use this for the rest of my life.”

And he has. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cznfzIP1tTs

When I use the things that life brings me with gusto, my happiness doesn’t derail, joy doesn’t skip a beat, and I don’t multiply misery.

I want adversity to reveal my strength, not my immaturity; my patience, not my whining; my discipline, not my laziness.

Adversity will come. I will move with it (as Inky demonstrates)…deeper into my core of power.

It Only Took a Lifetime

It only took a lifetime to…

  • forgive myself (and others) for being human
  • learn the value of me
  • quit comparing
  • notice the teaming life around me
  • smile (instead of sneer) at my uniqueness
  • delight in the Universe
  • laugh at being a (valuable and unlikely) speck on a speck
  • remember how to get the most out of life by playing

“I’m the Only One Who Ever Does the Dishes Around Here”

I whined about my workload more times than I can count. Once, when I said, “I’m the only one who ever does the dishes around here,” someone responded, “So, don’t do them anymore. I’d rather have a dirty kitchen than be around a martyr.”

Although, not the answer I was going for, he had a very good point. No one enjoys the poor-little-me martyr. Setting boundaries and agreements is a much better option.

In offices and homes all over the world, people are getting bitter about other people not shouldering their fair share of the work and carrying around bitterness about it. That bitterness infects and dismantles relationships, contributes to ulcers and illness, and sucks the fun out of any environment. I’m not advocating rewarding irresponsible behaviors, only managing them productively.

Solution:

  1. Tell people what you need.

  2. Agree on a plan.

  3. Set contingencies for exceptions and failures.

  4. Follow through without drama.

Goodbye martyrdom!

Image result for whiners quotes

Image result for whiners quotes

Ride It Out

Whether or not we believe this quote by historian Edward Gibbon, history and experience validate that those who survive and thrive are those who believe life happens for them, not to them.

It has certainly helped me to believe in my ability to ride out a storm while in the middle of one. Believing the wind and the waves were not on my side, that the storm was too much for me, caused me to…

  1. Sink

  2. Despair

  3. Give up

  4. Go bat-shit crazy

  5. Make other people miserable

If I had only known earlier that my thoughts and words were creating the blueprint of  my life, I would not have wallowed so long in pathetic negativity, comparing, and complaining.

Today I choose the thoughts and words of peace and success because my thoughts and words will  enable me to ride it out.

The Whole Picture of a Role Model

Because everything is praise and success for Tesla and Spacex right now, it would be easy to underrate Elon Musk’s pain behind his bold life. Just a few years ago, he had mammoth failures and crushing criticism from everywhere, even from his heroes.

The following quote captures a day in the life…

In 2018, I can use Elon Musk’s reminder that giving up and living small is not the option I want to take.

When I Take Time to Hear Myself

The first step I must take in order to become the very best version of myself is to pay attention to my thoughts and words. Besides catching myself saying negative things, I also review my conversations to catch the times I exaggerated, wasn’t completely honest, or talked too much.

Take time to really hear your Self. - JoAnnaRothman #YourDailyGift http://www.joannarothman.com/take-time-really-hear-self-joannarothman-yourdailygift

When I take the time to really hear myself, it is sometimes painful, yet, that pain gives me more incentive to grow and change.

Not sure if there is actual scientific proof to support this whole claim but it certainly is proven that stress can make you ill in many different ways.

What My Gifts Are Not

It is obviously important to figure out one’s gifts and to use them to benefit others.

I may not have complete clarity about what my gifts are, yet I know for sure that my gifts are not…

  • nagging

  • controlling

  • manipulating

…even though those behaviors appear to be my default settings. And, even though, I seem to think that using them will actually benefit someone.

Image result for nagging quotes

When in doubt about my contribution to the people in my life, I cannot go wrong by contributing patience and love.

Missed Moments II

Reading Julie Lythcott-Haims memoir, Real American has skillfully prodded me toward important awareness of:

  • my inadequacy to see the world from others’ points of view
  • how many moments I have wasted in self-absorption instead of seeing others and their obstacles 
  • how long it takes in a lifetime to really understand that compassion toward others is everything
  • the importance and long-term impact of all people (especially people we discount)
  • the terrible pain people of color have endured due to the callousness and ignorance of others

Image result for julie lythcott-haims quotes

Image result for julie lythcott-haims quotes

Guess Who?

Who is responsible for your unhappiness?

  • Your Cheating Partner?

  • Selfish Ex?

  • Clueless Politicians?

  • Bitter In-Laws?

  • Controlling Parents?

  • Mean Sibling or Rebellious Child?

  • Incompetent Boss or Co-workers?

  • God?

  • Inconsiderate Neighbors?

  • Criminals?

  • Lousy Friends?

  • Ruthless Competitors?

This is another quote by researcher, author, and professor, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. When we are suffering, it feels terribly callous. Yet, if we doubt its validity, we only have to think of those amazing people we have seen or known who have overcome unspeakable horrors without becoming miserable. When we decide to make excuses about how special our personal brand of misery is, we will never find the author of happiness.

Guess Who?

It’s You.

Happy December.

Want the Kiss of Death?

Believe that you are helpless because someone or something is conspiring against you.

That is “the kiss of death” for…

  • healthy relationships

  • your job

  • productivity

  • progress

  • romance

  • politics

  • mental health

  • hope

  • fun

  • happiness

  • wealth

  • or any other type of enduring prosperity

I wasted too much of my valuable time complaining about how unfair life was, about office politics, the good-ole-boy club, politicians, and random conspiracy theories instead of proceeding with confidence in an abundant universe. Now, I’m sure there was a conspiracy. Life was rigged…in my favor! 

The happiest and most successful people live life as if everything is rigged in their favor!