poets

March 4, 2021

A Very Good Reason Not to Complain

 

30 Best Mary Oliver Quotes And Poems You Need To Know

–Mary Oliver

 

When people accidently (or otherwise) give me a box full of darkness, the day may come when I, too, as Mary Oliver, understand that the box of darkness was a gift. That inability to know how things play out in the long run is the absolute best reason I can think of for not complaining.

But, there are more:

  1. The world is overflowing with critics. I don’t want to be common and boring.
  2. Sometimes my actions are the root causes for things I am blaming on others.
  3. Complaining makes me frown and frowns make wrinkles.
  4. Complaining makes people defensive, but setting boundaries and asking for change from a place of healthy detachment sets up win-wins.
October 2, 2018

Life Is an Echo

Related image

Many will argue with this sentiment, saying that life has not treated them in a reciprocal manner.

When this seems to be the case, there are four explanations:

  1. Our timing is not the timing of the Universe
  2. Our giving has been with strings attached or impure
  3. Our analysis of ourselves lacks the insight of coaches and/or mentors (this is available through reading and videos as well as one-on-one)
  4. Our most important need is to be tested and purified for a larger purpose

Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us ~ Pablo Neruda

Neruda understands that growth is possible (and precious) from the loss of something we may desperately want.

July 17, 2017

That’s All I Need to Know?

This Keats quote has more punch to it when his circumstances are factored in; dead at twenty-five after years of poverty and painful illness. In spite of that, Keats lived with good spirits, focused on the beauty in the world and the truth revealed through that beauty.

Sounds way too simple…until I read something moving, or see a beautiful child or a stunning sunset, or am the recipient of an unexpected kindness. At that point, the meaning of life is distilled into such simple purity that I understand what Keats was getting at.

Or, when meaningless cruelty, inexplicable suffering, or aborted happiness knocks me off my feet, and I realize I don’t know what I thought I knew, then, Keats’ reminder that I really never knew is a lifeline to sanity.

May 13, 2016

Know Any Defining People?

define the moment

In high school, as far as I knew, Walt Whitman was just a boring, famous, old man who wrote poems. What I didn’t know was how powerful he was at defining his own moments, instead of letting the not-so-good moments define him.

Among his challenges, Walt Whitman…

  • was raised in an economically challenged family
  • only had formal schooling until the age of eleven
  • had a brother who died of tuberculosis and alcoholism, another who was captured by Confederate soldiers, and another who was an invalid all of his life
  • financed and self-published the first edition of Leaves of Grass  which critics called “obscene and indecent”
  • worked many difficult, manual labor jobs to help support his poor family and his writing
  • worked as a volunteer nurse during the Civil War because he was so moved by the pain and tragedy soldiers suffered

Walt Whitman had a definitive influence on poetry, on American literature, our high school English curriculum, and my own hope because, somewhere along the way, he decided to define himself and his moments rather than hand that job over to someone or  something else.

October 28, 2015

“Leap Before You Look”

 

The sense of danger must not disappear:

The way is certainly both short and steep.

However gradual It looks from here;

Look if you like, but you will have to leap.

This stanza from W.H. Auden’s poem is certainly about risky love, but the sentiment can be applied to a multitude of decisions in our lives that will take us off the beaten path, away from the mundane, and into a more adventurous, fulfilling life.

Unfortunately there are no shortcuts to becoming that person we admire.

We can’t kid ourselves forever. Living vicariously through movies, games, books, fantasy, or our children will never be enough.

Today, I wish that courage to leap for you and for me.

When-Our-Comfort-Zone-Becomes-A-Danger-Zone

pierre-teilhard-de-chardin-philosopher-it-is-our-duty-as-men-and

Chardin was not advocating recklessness: only courage.

July 9, 2015

A Good Answer to “Why Am I Here?”

8d57bcfbed114df6b583a1075ed2de0e

I go back to this poem when I can’t answer the question about my life, or other peoples’ lives, or the needless suffering. or the endless obstacles to simple peace.

I go back to this poem when I start taking myself too seriously and worrying too much about success or failure or mediocrity.

I go back to this poem when I need to remember it’s simply about using everything I am and have, right now, however I can, to love.

Like Emily Dickinson did, in 1858, when she asked the same question.

September 26, 2014

Stopping the “What-Do-You-Do?” Nonsense

I’ve decided to never ask people the question, “What do you do?”

This is a good question for those who feel successful and are doing what they love, but an unmerciful question for the many people who are not doing what they love and do not feel successful.

My new questions are, “What are you passionate about?” or “What are you most proud of?” and faces awaken as the words bubble out.

Those of us who are stuck “just paying the bills” need questions like this to remind us…

1) who we really are

2) that there are people out there in the world who will value us for who we really are, and

3) that there is still hope that the best is yet to come.

e.e. cummings

 

August 19, 2014

Survival Dichotomy

TS-Elliot_4

It is a natural desire to want to feel significant and secure; these are obviously needs with which we were born.

Then what has gone wrong?

In my own experience, the following three behaviors have been the main culprits of chaos:

  1. Hustling for importance vs. accepting the gift of my unique importance and place in the world
  2. Wanting to be important to prove my worth to someone else
  3. Believing that I was more or less important than anyone else

Freedom from pain and drama came to me when I began to:

  1. Express gratitude for my one amazing life
  2. Believe in the (wildly significant) love and value that I had with my Creator
  3. Do the previous two things on behalf of others

 

July 10, 2014

When Your Power Is Gone

Preparing for an event recently, we noticed that there were no power outlets available where we needed them. Our options were:

  1. Despair and call off the event
  2. Rearrange and modify our setup
  3. Find enough extension cords to get us to the power

Calling off the event was not an option (because we had obligations) so we scrambled until we had something that worked.

So, the question is, why do I give up so easily when I feel powerless?

Alice-Walker-Final

 

when-you-get-involved

empowered

 

 

June 19, 2014

Entitled vs. Polished

No one likes to be around someone who acts like the world owes them something or that they are entitled, including…

  • Spoiled rich kids
  • Ponzi schemers
  • Arrogant bosses, celebrities, and politicians, etc.

We encounter, and we love to hate, a multitude of people who act this way, which makes it difficult for us to see this trait in ourselves.

Signs of an unhealthy entitlement mentality:

  • We complain a lot
  • We feel cheated
  • We look down on certain classes, races, religions, groups, etc.
  • We are bitter or jealous, which leads to gossip or criticism
  • We are always irritated about something

How to fix it? Expect nothing. Assume nothing. Relax judgments. Work hard.

(It sure is refreshing to be around people like this.)

irritated-by-rub