For many years I didn’t get along well with bosses. I pretended. I talked behind their backs. I thought they were idiots.
Unfortunately for me, they were the people who could tell me the truth about myself.
Saying “What can I do to fix this?” would have been much more effective than dissing their opinions. Arguing and defending my own perspective is what I chose to do instead. It got me nowhere.
When I finally got humble enough to see myself from the outside, my world rearranged itself into peace and success.
“Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.”
“…only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand–and melting like a snowflake.” –Francis Bacon
Sometimes I am shocked into considering the ridiculous brevity of my life by…looking up at the vast universe or by looking back into the history of generations of people who have already lived and died. Sometimes it is a brutal confrontation with death in a dream or in an unexpected tragedy. But, when this happens, my life takes on the more noble qualities of:
- a sense of urgency to live fully today
- a sensitivity about what really matters
- a renewed commitment to live with courage, compassion, and surrender
I can make the sparkle and the melting count today. I can do what I was born to do with cheerful abandon.
Or, I can fret, fear, despair, complain, and squander what little I have left.
(encore post from July 2014)
According to research presented in Daniel Pink’s book When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, the single best predictor of a good employee/boss relationship is how prompt the boss is at returning calls, texts, and emails.
In my experience, it is also a good predictor of…
- a successful client/vendor relationship
- a happy romantic relationship
- salesperson/potential customer relationship
- any other relationship I can think of
I have met some very brilliant and interesting people, many with whom I would have loved to work or get to know better, yet, if they failed to show a sense of urgency, stood me up, or constantly rescheduled appointments, I moved on.
The most common excuse is “I am too busy,” yet, the best bosses (salespeople, partners, etc.) are never too busy for their priorities.
When we wonder why relationships aren’t working better, it might be good to start here.
Maybe it was from my steady childhood diet of horror movies, but somehow I became one of the biggest chickens of all time.
- My heart races at the drop of a hat.
- My stomach turns at the slightest thought of trouble.
- Fear and resistance are my first responses to the smallest challenge.
To counteract these default settings, I have learned to review a mental “tape” of my bold-people heroes when in high-stake environments.
If I don’t, you will find me running for cover or whimpering in the corner.
What a difference it has made for me when…
- confronted with an undesirable task
- someone needs to go first
- there is danger
- I might be rejected or mocked