How calloused of me to expect human beings to be “normal” when most of us have gone through debilitating pain.
How naïve of me to expect people to be “mature” when most of us were raised by flawed and confused adults.
How short-sighted of me to be intolerant of people who are trying their hardest to make sense of their own crazy circumstances.
Check it out:
When I feel so nostalgic that I cannot be content with the present.
When I feel so negative that I shut down my own productivity.
When I am so pessimistic that I attempt to solve tomorrow’s challenges without tomorrow’s resources.
…and better logic.
For several years, I beat myself up for screwing up with a particular client. Last week, that client requested my services again.
A week before that, in a humbling effort to clear my conscience, I apologized to someone I had offended many years ago. They forgave me with wonderful generosity.
In both cases, my ego had been working overtime. Also, in both cases, if I had taken myself less seriously, I would have saved myself a lot of anxiety, sleeplessness, time and trouble.
In reality, we are all somewhat ridiculous. Acknowledging that takes the pressure off.
If we are tired of feeling disappointed with people, we must…
- Quit expecting them to be other than human
- Start looking inside (instead of outside) for what we need
- Refrain from blaming others for our pain
- Take responsibility for our own happiness
More than one truth-teller in my life has told me that I was trying to get something out of them that I could only get from within. They were right. Now, on those after-midnight soul-searches (that, btw, increase in frequency with age), I get it.
We must also remember the times that people have exceeded our expectations, and/or the times that it was us who did the disappointing.
Keep it real. Blaming is the choice of fools.
“Inch by inch, life’s a cinch. Yard by yard, life is hard.” – Mac Anderson
I’m the kind of person who gives up too easily. I can’t stay focused on a task for any length of time without despairing.
Since I know that about myself, I have learned to break up tasks into tiny “wins” so that I can make it to the end…inch by inch.
If I don’t, I will lose interest before I even get halfway there.
I hope you have more discipline than I do. And, I also hope that when you want to give up, you will keep going inch by inch…if only for those of us who are always looking for proof that it is worth it.
Even if we get past Monday, going to work is hard.
- we learn to treat everyday the same
- find joy inside instead of outside
- decide that life is about giving instead of getting
- resolve to make the most of wherever we are
Happy Tuesday. This is the day we make life better for the people around us.
- depending on others to fix things for us
- being ignorant
- limiting our own education and stunting our own growth
I asked my IT guy about a problem and found out he googled the answer.
I followed his lead and found I could be a solution person instead of a problem person.
Now, if we can just remember to use Google to help us fix relationships. (See TEDTalks and YouTube)
I love this quote that the greatest gift I can give to the world is my own self-transformation, because it’s something I can get to work on even if I don’t have employment, prospects, money, credentials, teachers, supporters, or one good thought about my life.
A client told me that she decided not to be bitter and negative anymore, so she found a YouTube video about getting rid of negativity and made a commitment to watch it everyday. The next time I saw her she looked ten years younger.
The ripple effect of her self-transformation not only reached her face, it reached me, her employers, her co-workers, her employees, her children, her significant other, her ex, and countless people in her future.
Her life has been transformed into one big gift.
I learned to “step away from the ledge” to resist the temptation to jump.
Now, I am learning to step away from the ledger to resist “jumping to conclusions” and chalking up judgments against people who might be in need of a little mercy.
When I don’t keep a “ledger” of everyone else’s faults, it makes it easier for me to forgive myself and believe that others are not keeping a ledger on me.