It Won’t Help

When we decide to worry, we are not only surrendering our power, we are also…

  • ignoring wisdom from those who have lived before us
  • disregarding well-documented facts concerning the insanity of worry
  • dishonoring our health

We enter into the realm of the elite simply by saving ourselves the trouble that worry creates.

What Difference Does It Make?

Craving significance is a huge part of our human condition.

When we understand how our work matters, everything changes. We have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. We have a reason to overcome obstacles. We have a reason to keep going when pain is unbearable.

One of the greatest gifts we can give each other is to acknowledge the difference we make. Great managers do this. Good people do this.

“If it breathes, it needs encouragement.” -Charlie Chaplain

This Will Shut Us Up

“If you have time to whine and complain about something, then you have the time to do something about it.”

That might sound trite…until we calculate the astonishing amount of time that we have wasted whining and complaining.

With just a little of that wasted time, I have found that I can…

  • Ask the Universe for wisdom and help
  • Offer what I do have without complaining about what I don’t
  • Seek out mentors and inspiration to counteract my feeling of helplessness
  • Decide to do what I don’t want to do
  • Take a baby-step toward something meaningful

Probably worth the discipline it takes to watch what I say…

How to Obliterate Boredom

I always wanted to be able to sing like Adele or Aretha Franklin. Since I couldn’t, I decided to bring that passion to whatever tasks life handed me. However small, boring, or seemingly insignificant those tasks were, I would “sing my life” like I meant it.

Living like this has changed my life, made difficult times go by faster, brought me lots of friends, work, and loyalty, and helped me deliver energy and hope where they were sadly lacking (like at boring jobs, committee meetings, or the DMV).

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“The antidote to exhaustion is not rest but, rather, wholeheartedness.” – David Whyte

Middle of the Night Assessments

Thinking, thinking, thinking of all the ways I have screwed up, relationships I had marred, the many flavors of stupidity I let fly out of my mouth, and my inaccurate estimations of myself at the root of all these embarrassing displays of weird. In the middle of the night I can quickly label myself as unredeemable or I can remember that it is the middle of the night when I am most prone to be out of whack.

I can wait until morning for judgement, when rested, when I will see that I am more than this: still a work in progress, a mixture of bright and dull, awesome and not so awesome, light and dark, sunshine and shadow.

 

Distilled Power

My romantic relationships and my work relationships improved when I quit worrying about how I was being perceived, or how I was being treated, what had just happened, or what was going to happen next. So did my tennis game. And my relationship with my kids and in-laws. And my health. And my joy. And my ability to have a good night’s sleep.

It took me over thirty years to figure that out with relationships. Over ten with something as inconsequential as tennis. Still working on it with new clients, new challenges, and strangers.

Most of us spend our waking hours splintered out in so many directions that we don’t even know what true focus is. People who bring their complete attention and focus with them wherever they go are so rare that when we are lucky enough to meet one, we cannot forget them. They are distilled and refreshing power: the power we have always longed for.

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Belonging to Ourselves

No hustling for worthiness.

No valuing myself by someone else’s measurement.

No comparisons.

Shouldering responsibility for my own happiness.

Allowing others to belong to themselves.

Drawing nourishment from the one and only, unique relationship with my Creator, from which all sustaining relationships are born.

Honoring the fleeting, fertile moments in this body, here and now.

It Is Never Enough

Even if I am acknowledged

Accomplished

Or have crossed the goal line while the crowd roars

It will not be enough to sustain this hungry spirit of mine

It will only crave more on another day

No, that deep cavern of need

Must be spring-fed

From a deep reservoir within

No accolade

No award

Can ever be worth as much

As this

My own affirming voice

“I am enough.”

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When Days Feel Like Ghosts

This insightful Emerson quote feels especially true when there is nothing on the agenda, when the phone is not ringing (and the mail is not dinging), when we are ill, not sure of our next step, or broke.

How do we use the “gift” of the day when the days feel like empty ghosts passing by? The key seems to be asking versus saying, “My life sucks” or “I’m completely useless.”

Is there anything I can do today to make a difference for someone?” prompts ideas, seemingly from out of nowhere, like sending kind texts or emails to those with whom I haven’t spoken in a while.

Then, there will be more energy to catch the ghosts and unwrap the gifts.

Finally Finding Relief

  • R Realizing I didn’t need anyone’s permission or approval to be…
  • E Exactly who I am
  • L Letting go of restricting beliefs
  • I Initiating small changes
  • E Exercising faith in myself (as created with and for love)
  • F Focusing on a future of dream fulfillment (instead of complaining and despairing)

Suddenly pain became a remote memory… after years of confusing agony.

How do you spell RELIEF?

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(first posted in 2012)