Searching for a Heart of Gold?

Searching for a heart of gold is a worthy quest, and not just for Neil Young. Neil Young might have been singing about a romantic connection, but we are all searching for hearts of gold in people we meet. It is like a quest for home.

A heart of gold is about honesty and authenticity. It is about loyalty and honor and about refusing to become small or vindictive in our words or actions.

And people with hearts of gold are not doormats, they are strong people who refuse to stoop to hatred.

To show respect to all people, even those who have disrespected us or treated others disrespectfully, is sometimes torture and often counter-intuitive. Yet, the reward of having that caliber of character is worth the exertion.

Treat Those Two Imposters Just the Same!

“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two imposters just the same…then yours is the earth and everything in it.”

Kipling makes quite a bold promise in his poem “If.”

Although everyone would like all triumph and no disasters, Kipling warns that they are…

  • not what we perceive them to be
  • important and equal opportunities to get better at life

…and, if we can react to both with humility and courage by not relying on one nor rejecting the other, we will be much closer to mastering our world.

Even though the poem is addressed to his son, it encapsulates the most profoundly useful and life-changing advice I have ever read.

Need direction? Need a mentor? Start here.

 

 

If Guilt Creeps Stealthily in

If guilt creeps stealthily in

Or breaks violently into your home

It will not help to hide behind a door

Or appear dreadfully busy on your phone

 

Guilt cannot stand to be ignored! (Trust me, history is my witness)

Dare to play dumb or talk smart

He (and you) will stab your dear one (oh yes!)

Straight through their unsuspecting heart

 

Or, he’ll double you over with a kick to the gut

Then condemn you to endless nights in a restless bed

After pouring poisons into your body and

Terrifying fears into your head

 

Your only chance is to look fiercely into his heartless eyes

Let him say what he has to say

Then, you, you fix what can be fixed, and

Then, bravely banish his pathetic impotence away

Cure for Holiday Cynicism

When the holidays make you irritable, angry, or sad…

Give.

Especially when you are down.

Give.

Especially when you don’t have anything to do or anywhere to go.

Give.

Especially when you want to be critical of others being stingy or greedy.

Give.

Especially when no one is giving to you.

Give.

Especially when you are alone.

Give.

Especially when you don’t believe anymore.

Give.

Especially when you think you have nothing to give.

There is someone out there, right now, who needs you.

Give without expecting anything in return. Give without judging if someone is worthy of your gift. Give your smile. Give your time. Give your generous thoughts. Give kindness.

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Who Knew Batteries Were Included?

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And, the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

 

I am directionless and ignored

Moored, anchored to fear and noise

But suspect I am able to learn

Can untangle the hopeless ropes  

And that I have less time to burn

Than it feels like while formless and stagnant

On the tributary that leads to 

The banks

Of an ocean of information

 

Yet, if I act now and go

I may arrive, dip in my toe (cautiously at first)

And shape myself into something quite new

Who knew

Batteries were included?

Nurture the Good People

I woke up from this nightmare that I was roaming the streets, desperate to find help, but without any friends or family to call upon.

Boy, was I happy to wake up and find I still had a support system! 

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If we have them, our job is to nurture them, especially the ones we tend to take for granted. Failure to do so brings distance.

Sometimes, the only obstacle to nurturing those we take for granted is our pride.

(Unless ripped away by tragedy) the people who will never be without good people in their lives are the ones who will appreciate them…and…eat humble pie when humble pie is the only thing on the menu in order to sustain the relationship.

One Hundred Pair of Underwear

My friend told me she owned at least one-hundred, maybe even two-hundred pair of underwear, and that she was still buying more.

Before I could make her feel guilty about not giving the “underwear money” to the needy, she explained her fetish. She had grown up very poor in Thailand without the basics…including underwear.

Her vulnerability reminded me that everything we do has a story behind it, a very human story.

Best reason to give the benefit of the doubt.

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What’s So Peaceful about a River?

Tennis great, Maria Sharapova says this Hal Boyle quote is her go-to when she is feeling overwhelmed or unfocused.

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This constant peace of a river begins for each of us when we connect to integrity…the state of being whole and undivided…the true center of ourselves; who we really are without the fear, without the hustle, without trying to get something from anyone, without doubting our worth, trusting the support of the Universe.

When we get to this place, the path will unravel artistically before us.

Feeling anxious, confused, unloved, or insignificant is my first sign that I am operating outside of my riverbed.

“Integrity is the only path where you will never get lost.” -Mike Maples

Freedom to Quit Pretending

Life changes for the better when we realize that we don’t have to know everything and we don’t have to pretend we do.

Simon Sinek

Pretending, posturing, and posing extracts serious psychological and physiological energy from us.

What sweet release it is to be ourselves.

What sweet relief it brings to those around us who are also feeling like imposters.

Sometimes we do have to fake it until we make it to push ourselves out of a comfort zone. That is called courage and courage is essential.

But, refusing to be honest with ourselves and others about who we really are is called by other names, including arrogance, deceit, narcissism, manipulation, and immaturity. All of which are ticking time bombs.

Getting Over Stuff More Quickly

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Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.

Rejection happens.

Oversights happen.

Encountering selfishness is a being-human-occupational hazard.

Training myself to ignore injuries that come from these oh-so-common sources has saved me lots of pain and countless hours of justification chasing (convincing myself and others that I was right to feel offended).

The time saved I can now use to learn about others’ points of view. What a welcome state-change it has been! What revelations I have had about myself!

But, the best advantage (by far) has been to those who had to listen to my poor-injured-me conversations.