And, Then I Want Things

  1. I forget to delight in the people and things around me.

2. I start to compare my situation to others. I begin to envy, pity myself, or focus on petty inconveniences.

3. I start to want things I don’t have.

4. I lose my inner light and strength. I become dark and common.

The Strong Approach

“Some day I will be able to ___________________________ or, I will begin today to _________________________________.”

“It takes time to forgive someone, or today I will refuse to play the victim, and begin to forgive.”

“I know I am unhappy with my life, but I don’t have the _______________ (courage, money, time) to change my life, or today I will start taking baby steps toward my goal.”

“Someday I will be healthier and run a marathon, or today I will begin by walking around my neighborhood.”

“One day I will be happier, or today I will live with joy and gratitude for what I already have.”

“One day someone will love me and change my life, or today I will be my own hero, I will love myself and change my life.”

Magic Like Water


This quote reminds of the need to recognize my own mystery and possibilities. I seldom associate a drop of water with a majestic ocean or a devastating flood, yet each seemingly insignificant drop has magnificent properties and the imprint of power.

If I want to live as peacefully and as powerfully as water, I must

  • surrender to the mystery
  • never underestimate my complexity and beauty (and that of others)
  • flow
  • value my connection to the whole
  • appreciate my uniqueness and impact (and that of others)
  • change willingly and as easily as water changes to ice or vapor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=au4qx_l8KEU

“The Groan which Underlines the Past”

Possible reasons why we make too much of “that long groan which underlines the past”…

  • We haven’t forgiven ourselves for being human
  • We haven’t forgiven others for being human
  • We are reliving our pain, slights, and failures over and over again
  • We are not counting it all as training for our future
  • We are taking ourselves way too seriously
  • We do not comprehend how little time we have left
  • We have a pattern of whining, blaming, and complaining

Now, I am ready to erase that groan at the past with a smile for the future.

Just Sing

People are a mess. Life is often a mess. Things happen. Death is inevitable.

But, sing anyway.

Look it square in the face and sing.

That may sound absurd, but when I do, I find courage. Sometimes, even a smile.

 

Music seems to connect me to a harmony above the chaos.

That’s a good reason to test the hypothesis, anyway. (Especially when we consider how important music has been in all the stages of our life, how imbedded it is in our memories, and how much music meddles with our emotions.)

Best Exercise for a Broken Heart

“The heart is a muscle like any other and the best exercise you can do for it is called picking yourself up off the floor.” 

– I Wrote This Just For You (2011 Central Avenue Publishing)

It feels like you can’t get up
It feels like the pain will never subside
It feels like it’s no use
It feels like living is meaningless

Don’t believe the lie

Get up anyway
And keep doing it

Your heart will soon astound you with its strength

When I think of what I would have missed if I had not…

Who knew?

B R A V I N G

Learning to trust and be trusted has been the most important and courageous journey of my life.

Dare to Lead‘s illuminating road map:

Boundaries (to be clear about our expectations) – setting, communicating, and maintaining boundaries with ourselves and others

Reliability (to be able to relax) – doing what we say we will do

Accountability (how we fix things) – being willing to apologize and take responsibility for mistakes

Vault (to feel safe)– keeping things confidential that need to be confidential

Integrity (character) – doing what is right vs. what is fun, fast, or easy

Non Judgement (kindness) – agreeing to ask for help and say what needs to be said without judgement

Generosity (loving as we love ourselves) – extending the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words, and actions of others

Removing a Fear “Tattoo”

PTSD.

Traumatic experiences.

Anxiety attacks.

Rejection and humiliation.

Deeply tattooed fear will continue to plague us and steal our future unless…we learn how to remove the deeply tattooed fear by changing our state quickly.

The most effective method I have found for this is the FISBE model.

Focus = Inner State = Behavior

Because what I focus on becomes my inner state which becomes my fear-driven behavior, I change my focus to:

  • What I can do instead of what I can’t do

  • What is working instead of what is not working

  • What I have instead of what I don’t have

  • The future instead of the past

And continue with my own version of FISBE fear-relief with…

FORGIVE

INSANITY

BELIEVE NOTHING IS WASTED

Organize Your Life Around It

Sometimes, I wake up and my day seems manageable. Then, out of the blue, a curve ball flies into my face and knocks me off kilter for the remainder of the day.

Other times, I wake up agitated.

Then, there are those days when I wake up feeling unconquerable.

Regardless, (I learned the hard way) finding calm before I unleash myself on the world is essential.

A peace of mind that runs deeper than my circumstances…always the most important accomplishment of the day.