Ride It Out

Whether or not we believe this quote by historian Edward Gibbon, history and experience validate that those who survive and thrive are those who believe life happens for them, not to them.

It has certainly helped me to believe in my ability to ride out a storm while in the middle of one. Believing the wind and the waves were not on my side, that the storm was too much for me, caused me to…

  1. Sink

  2. Despair

  3. Give up

  4. Go bat-shit crazy

  5. Make other people miserable

If I had only known earlier that my thoughts and words were creating the blueprint of  my life, I would not have wallowed so long in pathetic negativity, comparing, and complaining.

Today I choose the thoughts and words of peace and success because my thoughts and words will  enable me to ride it out.

When I Take Time to Hear Myself

The first step I must take in order to become the very best version of myself is to pay attention to my thoughts and words. Besides catching myself saying negative things, I also review my conversations to catch the times I exaggerated, wasn’t completely honest, or talked too much.

Take time to really hear your Self. - JoAnnaRothman #YourDailyGift http://www.joannarothman.com/take-time-really-hear-self-joannarothman-yourdailygift

When I take the time to really hear myself, it is sometimes painful, yet, that pain gives me more incentive to grow and change.

Not sure if there is actual scientific proof to support this whole claim but it certainly is proven that stress can make you ill in many different ways.

What My Gifts Are Not

It is obviously important to figure out one’s gifts and to use them to benefit others.

I may not have complete clarity about what my gifts are, yet I know for sure that my gifts are not…

  • nagging

  • controlling

  • manipulating

…even though those behaviors appear to be my default settings. And, even though, I seem to think that using them will actually benefit someone.

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When in doubt about my contribution to the people in my life, I cannot go wrong by contributing patience and love.

Missed Moments

I can’t count the number of Christmases I ruined with my pettiness; focused on the gifts I would get, what people thought of me and my gifts, or the arguments with my family. There were magic moments to be had for sure, yet I missed too many of them for the weighty cause of me.

Now, I want those moments back. I want to be able to see my mother, my siblings, the others, and the need and brilliance around me. I want to go into Christmas with my eyes wide open for opportunities to be kind, to forgive, and to live a bigger life.

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As a majestic lion, may I charge, undistracted into this Christmas, and those to come, intent upon redeeming the valuable, eternal, and almost-missed moments.

What To Do with Things That Cannot Be Controlled or Understood

  • Quit wasting our time on them.

  • Quit wasting our energy with them.

  • Invest that time and energy in the things we can control.

 

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(“Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can’t answer.” – Charles M. Schulz)

Move on to things we can.

Turn off the neurotic machine.

Snoopy creator, Charles Schultz practiced what he preached, funneling his personal angst into his humor. And, when he lightened-up, he helped countless others lighten-up.

(originally posted January 2015)

PBT

Pause

Breathe

Think

This is very difficult for me to do. Blurting is my default setting. Giving a slow answer to a quick question gives me time to consider the emotions and the stakes behind the question.

Byron Katie tells the story of her husband’s confusion with the changes she was making coming out of depression and addiction. When he challenged her with, “Who do you think you are?,” instead of lashing back, she answered,

“That’s a very good question. I really need to think about that.”

One Dreaded Experience Down

I used to dread attending a party at some perfect home of some perfect hostess with a perfect manicure until I realized there would always be an imperfect person present who would need an imperfect friend to help them feel less anxious about their far-from perfect life. Then I could attend without worrying about my unpainted nails. I could go and not think about how I looked…rather, about how I would see.

Stuff is stuff. Yet, it seems that, deep down, people are always looking for a genuine that goes far deeper than Dior, décor, or crystal decanters.

I can go there.

I’ve learned to go there with pleasure.

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How Do I Get a Beautiful Mind?

Most of us would probably love people to say this about us. But, how do we get that label?

Definitely not by trying to sound smart.

Definitely by not trying to be cool or look beautiful.

Recently, I had a meeting I wasn’t looking forward to. I felt like I didn’t have anything to offer this person and that we didn’t have much in common. In my preparation for the meeting, though, I dropped every assumption, plan, and expectation and just concentrated on being available; loving the person and the evening.

The time turned into a beautiful conversation and connection, and, that person, later, complimented my beautiful mind. What?

Must be that the “beautiful mind” person is just the one that sees and hears the other person as beautiful.

That’s much easier than trying to be beautiful.