Whatever happens, take responsibility…instead of blaming, shaming or making excuses for ourselves and others.
Even if wronged, ask…
- How do I move forward productively?
- How do I keep from doing the same to others?
- Have I ever done the same to others? (Be humble enough to entertain the possibility, keeping in mind that it is easy to forget how we hurt others but difficult to forget how others have hurt us.)
- Besides my own perspective, what are others’ viewpoints?
- What can I learn from this experience?
- How can I avoid wasting my energy on blame and shame?
- What narrative will I choose about this experience? The narrative of a victim or the narrative of an overcomer?
What if those of us who walk around pathetically muttering to ourselves said only kind and productive things to ourselves instead?
What if we recognized the demeaning muttering for what it really is: unproductive babble?
Hope doesn’t mutter. It smiles instead.
Love doesn’t mutter. It boldly urges us on.
Joy doesn’t mutter. It sings.
Self-talk matters. The right self-talk doesn’t mutter.
I used to wait around for joy and courage, feeling bummed out. Now I create my own joy and courage by taking my focus off the things that weigh me down, and instead, focusing on what makes me feel joyful and courageous.
Of course, some days are harder than others to make the switch. Yet, as I continue to practice using my voice, my physiology, my thoughts, and music to do this, shifting into a stance of power has become easier and easier. Who knew?
Now, I am the voice!
Done with waiting for somebody or something else to speak on my behalf.
Expect to be astounded!
See your world changed before your eyes!
Just by changing your questions!
It’s simple! It’s easy! It can start right now!
What IS great in my life? (instead of what sucks)
What could I be happy about? (instead of what is bothering me)
What joys have I experienced? (instead of what has disappointed me)
“There are certain emotions we need to cultivate in order to be happy and successful. Otherwise, you could be winning and feel like you’re losing.” – Tony Robbins
Following Tony Robbins’ advice to have a morning “question-routine” has pulled my focus off feelings of drudgery, pain, exhaustion, and anxiety.
If I don’t do it, I forget all the good things that I already have and wallow in the things I don’t.
Before taking charge of his future, Tony Robbins sat in his 400 sq. ft. apartment, crying over feeling helpless and lost.
J.K. Rowling thought she was the biggest failure that ever lived.
Before Billy Joel’s success, he was broke, homeless, loveless, and thought suicide was the answer.
Buckminster Fuller thought his life was worth less than his life insurance.
Even the best of us can be tricked by this illusion.
I refused to be tricked yesterday, and will refuse to be tricked today. The “illusion of lack” is deadly.
At a Tony Robbins seminar, we created a “personal power move and exclamation” for use when we needed a quick change from a negative state into a productive state. Tony’s philosophy was that feeling better had much to do with our words, how we say them, and how we move.
It felt weird, but it worked.
I have successfully escaped sadness and despair many times by simply using that technique.
Last week I understood that Tony Robbins’s practice and Psalm 100 (written thousands of years ago) were identical techniques, both implying that we can create a state of joy by:
- Shouting joyfully
- Displaying gratitude
- Thinking about joyful things
- Honoring our Creator for our existence
I’ve known this Psalm for years, but thought it was just suggesting worship. It wasn’t. It was a remedy.
And after it is iced out, before sending Self-Pity on its way, tell Self-Pity you are busy…
- Making changes for your future.
- Showing gratitude and appreciation for what you have.
- On your way to make a difference for someone else.
- Harnessing your energy for a better tomorrow.
- Keeping your problems in perspective.
- Making a contribution in a world that needs you.
- Focusing on thoughts that are productive.
- Laughing at your own immaturity.
- Taking your own power back.
- And sick and tired of living like a victim!
Speaking of success, it has always been too easy for me to compare my successes to the “more impressive” success of others or to what I could have or should have been or done.
I seem to naturally focus on the embarrassment and disappointment of my failures instead of upon the things I have done right.
Tony Robbins has helped me get off that treadmill by reminding me that…
And, that I can change my depression into hope by changing my focus…
When I feel like a failure, I must always question myself about what I have been focusing on.
When consultant Michael Port quit his corporate job and started his own business, he thought success would be a given. Instead, “I moped about my apartment, panicking, feeling sorry for myself, and doing trivial busy work. Within six months I was desperate. I was fed up. I’d reached my limit.” At that point, instead of throwing in the towel, he threw himself passionately into studying and researching, and executing new techniques.
Funny, that’s what Donald Trump did when he lost all of his money on a failed venture, and what Sylvester Stallone did when he had to sell his dog for money to eat, and what Stephen King did when he couldn’t sell his books.
We have the same choice: 1) give up or 2) believe in ourselves enough to fight.