Yes or Know

“The only ‘no’ in my vocabulary begins with k.” My friend, Joann, got this response when she asked for help. I loved it! The person she asked for help, went on to say, “Just let me know what you need.” 

Great philosophy…

Okay, well, I admit it is not a good philosophy for those of us who have a problem setting boundaries, or for those of us who hang out with sociopaths, or, for those of us who are already in trouble with authorities for saying yes too much, but for those of us who tend to say “no” too quickly, or need to learn generosity, what a concept!

Image result for say yes quotes
Image result for say yes quotes

Image result for say yes quotes

Charging or Wasting the Air Space?

Image result for work and love quotes

I’m tired of hearing myself drone on about the same ole things. I’m tired of chiming in when complainers start complaining. I’m tired of wasting the airspace with words that fall lifeless to the floor. I’m tired of sucking the energy out of conversations by being ho-hum, critical, or negative.

I was born for more than this. I was born to uplift, to rise above my circumstances, to give hope, and to electrify instead of fizzle.

What a day this can be!

Farco Quonks

These words were on my mind when I woke this morning.

Besides wishing these were real words for playing Words with Friends, I thought farco quonk may have described my state of mind at that moment; as in, “I was in a real farco quonk.”

You’ve probably been in a farco quonk before and can relate. Here are some characteristics:

  • things are just a little off
  • you can’t think of anything worth getting out of bed for
  • un-diagnosable aches and pains
  • whatever is the operative word
  • you can’t quite remember that troubling dream, to-do list, or what exactly you said or did wrong.

The good news is that farco quonks don’t have to last long.

Mine went away when I resolved to do something useful and something kind.

john wesley quote

Good riddance farco quonks!

Don’t Know What to Say?

Okay, you decided you wanted to make a difference for someone but you didn’t know what to say? And, because you didn’t know what to say or how to say it, you didn’t say anything? Then you got depressed or frustrated because you didn’t say anything? And, now, every time you think about how you didn’t say anything, you feel worse?

Big COMMON problem.

So big, and so common, that every year, it sends multitudes into arguments, addiction, therapists, and the grave with bad consciences. Ugh. So sad.

So sad, especially because all of the pain could have been prevented simply by saying this,

“I don’t know what to say or how to say it, and I feel so awkward, but I want (or need) to express my (sympathy, concern, apology, appreciation, admiration, support, interest, etc.)”

That’s it.

Authentic. Genuine. Refreshingly rare.

authenticity keep it real

Condemnation Flows Like Water out of a Faucet

Unless we consciously turn off the valve.

I challenge us for one day to notice how many times we:

  1. Accuse someone else of stupidity
  2. Pronounce someone mean or insensitive
  3. Condemn someone else’s choices or tastes
  4. Decide another person is unworthy of love or respect

What if we started by carefully editing that stuff out of our vocabulary just so our words would be a tad more merciful?

What if we talked about something else instead…maybe something useful?

What if were kind and assertive and said what needed to be said, instead of hiding behind gossip?

What if eventually we even thought kinder, more patient thoughts?

What if, when we turned the faucet back on, only wisdom flowed out?

What if we helped ourselves by doing so?

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Two-Minute Tune-Up 7.20.12 What Did You Just Say?

Words make things happen.

Catherine Ponder, in The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity, tells of a woman who had chronic problems with a stiff neck until she stopped saying that people were “a pain in the neck.”

My friend Susan’s beautiful hair was coming out in handfuls (as if she was a chemotherapy patient).  Coincidentally, when she stopped using the phrase, “I’m tearing my hair out” to describe her hectic life, the problem ceased.

A new acquaintance mentioned a surgery she had to correct a detached bladder. Around the time of the surgery she realized that she continually used this phrase about her husband; “He pisses me off.”

Our brains listen carefully to our words and take direct orders.

What instructions are you giving your body today?

 

 

 

 

Two-Minute Tune-Up 3.2.12 Ragged, Tired, and Faded Words

Think about it before you use them! Respect your famished audience, whoever and wherever they are.

I wrote the following poem while sitting through a boring graduation ceremony, but they certainly apply everywhere…today.

 

Look at the sea of troubled faces

Lined with the stress of getting here

And administer the formula for “bravo”

The words that warrant a cheer!

Don’t flatten the moment with yet one more cliché

But, instead, deliver

The fine elixir of “hooray!”

With one or one thousand, bring the awe

Not  the ragged, tired, and faded words

Of blah-blah-blah.

Try it today. Issue words carefully, completely aware of the hunger and thirst we have for good ones.

Two Minute Tune-up 10.5.11 The Ubiquitous Power of…THE FIRST TIME

All my life I’ve looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time.
– Ernest Hemingway

Hmmmm…maybe that was why he had such a way with them; his sincere appreciation for their power, purpose and uniqueness.

Last night, I looked at the moon as if for the first time…talk about cutting-edge artistic lighting!  It changes colors and shapes and even its location!

This morning I looked at my desk, my dog and my bathroom sink as if for the first time.

Now, looking at the people in my life, as if for the first time, like Hemingway, I enter into a new realm of joy, and, as a result, am able to maneuver with them so much better.

Oh, the ubiquitous power of  first-time delight

Two Minute Tune-up 10.4.11 Run for Your Life! The WORDS are Coming!

Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never harm me!

THAT IS PURE BS!

Words are blunt, brutal instruments that bludgeon our confidence and morale and, even more frightening, leave behind little worms that crawl into our brain, reprogram it and then eat away our futures!

And not just the words of insensitive enemies! My own words will do the same damage unless…

 I AM CAREFUL TO ONLY THINK AND SPEAK POSITIVELY!

Because my brain’s only job is to help me avoid pain and experience pleasure,  it is constantly and carefully listening to what I tell it about the world.  When I speak only good, my world IMPROVES!

We may not be able to control what others say…

But we can always control the commentary!

 

 

 

Two Minute Tune-up 7.18.11 Know Your Bore-Score

We all know boring people; people who talk too much, people who talk about the same things over and over, people who complain all the time, people who don’t ever talk, people who never show interest in anyone except themselves, etc.

Today, I’m gonna do my part in the quest to stop global boring by:

1) Showing interest in the challenges others are facing, and

2) Not talking about predictable things like how hot it is or how bad politicians are or how tired I am, and

3) Saying things that will motivate, encourage and uplift people.

I’m gonna work on a lower bore-score.

How refreshing it is when we use the “airspace” positively and thoughtfully…and how desperately we all need friends who will do that today!