anxiety

January 19, 2023

“Change Your Face”

During a TV game, a star college player said to his basketball coach, “Change your face, please. We are playing a game but your faces don’t reflect that.”

A wonderful wake-up call that now helps the team keep things in perspective and reminds me of an old Chinese proverb; Man without smiling face must not open shop. That is, if we want to sell anything (including our ideas or agendas), or if we want to enjoy our work, or if we want to connect with others—

Face power…

  1. frees us from anxiety so we can have fun and enjoy our work
  2. changes our energy
  3. changes our relationships
  4. attracts joy
  5. renews our youth
  6. sets us on an upward path
  7. softens our harshness and makes us attractive
  8. sends a message of hope to our mind and body (or team) that anxiously awaits our direction.

It might feel fake at first, but our nerve endings will quickly send messages throughout our cells. Sooner than we can imagine, things will begin to change inside…and around us.

January 8, 2023

Guest House

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness

some momentary awareness

comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all.

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still treat each guest honorably.

It may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.

Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes.

Because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

-Rumi

It is much easier said than done, but worth the work to get here–to this place of not arguing with reality. To this place of embracing everything about ourselves and the hand we have been dealt.

Our bodies and minds crave this kind of peace.

It is not giving in. Just the opposite–refusing to waste the energy we have been given on anything but overcoming.

November 2, 2022

Wish I had Known I Had Nothing to Prove

Wish I had known

I had nothing to prove

When I felt small and afraid

Of those who seemed to be

Or have so much more

*****

Wish I had known

I had nothing to prove

When I was ashamed

Of my clothes, of my face

Or of being out of place

*****

I wish I had known

I had nothing to prove

Or explain away about

Being myself and

Nothing more

October 17, 2022

Driving from the Back Seat

I have this nightmare about attempting to drive a car that is going too fast over a mountain pass while I am sitting in the back seat. It is a heart-racing impossible task my subconscious is warning me to abandon in real life.

Despite how I dislike backseat drivers, I often am one–barking orders, pressing my “you shoulds” upon people, or compulsively indicting silent judgements on others’ choices.

To avoid serious relationship consequences and unnecessary anxiety, maybe I should just control what is mine to control.

September 26, 2022

Pain Disposal

Most of us would not attempt to put recyclables in the garbage disposal.

Obviously, this wouldn’t get rid of the items and it would ruin the mechanism.

But, when it comes to dealing with pain from our past (that constantly recycles through our minds) we often take a tragically similar approach, and then, wonder why our bodies and minds are wrecked.

A sensible pain disposal plan might be:

Step One: Make a list of past conflicts, disappointments, lies, stupid stuff, and mistakes that still cause dis-ease (or wake us up at two in the morning).

Step Two: Fix (or apologize for) what we can.

Step Three: Let go of the rest. (We’re human.)

Step Four: Give thanks. (Imperfection is who we are.) Live in peace.

Original Post 2014

September 22, 2022

Neutralizing Night Terrors

I have found some (almost embarrassing) quick cures for middle of the night panic attacks and can’t-get-to-sleep anxiety:

Inspired by Neil Gaiman’s The Ocean at the End of the Lane in which the seven-year-old protagonist calms his fears by reciting nursery rhymes and lyrics to childhood songs, I have started reciting Psalm 23 (“The Lord is My Shepherd, I have everything I need…”), memorized poems, rhymes, and fun songs. Almost inevitably I fall to sleep with more courage and perspective.

Formerly, I counseled others to just get their minds on something else. Yeah, right, Much easier said than done.

Little did I know that something much stronger was needed.

Nursery rhymes.

Image result for mantra quotes
Image result for nursery rhyme quotes

Original Post: Sept 2019

September 7, 2022

The “How” of Heroes

“We come to knowledge (self-improvement, success) as we go to war: wide-awake, with fear, with respect, and with absolute assurance. With all four of these requisites, our actions lose the blundering quality of a fool. If we fail or suffer a defeat, we will have lost only a battle, and there will be no pitiful regrets over that.” – Carlos Castaneda

I love Castaneda’s four requisites:

  • wide-awake
  • fear
  • respect
  • absolute assurance

Although they may seem contradictory, fear and absolute assurance create the perfect juxtaposition; a tension between the raw awareness of weakness and the confident power that turns an average human being into an icon.

As in film and television, the vulnerability of the protagonist must be there or else we are not drawn to them. But, as they rise above their fear, we are lured with them…into the dangerous place where possibility lives.

worry-carlos-castaneda

Original Post January 2017

August 22, 2022

Exposed

Even if I manage to fool myself

Or someone else

About who I am

The crumbs that fall from my lips

Or from my mind into my heart

Have already poisoned

The once fertile ground

Of joy and peace

And pleasant sleep

The crumbs will continue to fall

From the feast of my mind

And all attempts

To heal the poisoned ground

Will fail

Until I feast upon whatever is good

And pure and kind and true

And worthy of honor

Not upon my outrage or fear

August 15, 2022

I Didn’t Know You Needed Them

I may not know how they are useful

Or who will need them

But like the story

Of the landowner’s cautious worker

When entrusted with gifts to use

Buried them because of fear

Could have, at least

Earned a little interest on them

And so must I

Fearlessly disclose and invest

All the talents that I have

For the someone out there

Who may need them