Looking for Ways to Know We Matter

Not just children, but most of us scramble for data to support or justify our existence.

Typical of L.R. Knost, the above quote hits the nail square on the head; our behaviors are reflecting the affirmation or lack of affirmation we seem to be receiving from our conscious or unconscious, “do-I-matter inquires.”

The only cure for the insecurity tied to these inquiries?

Be aware that every human is seeking the same answers and, then, pursue all available avenues to say “Yes!” to them…and to ourselves.

The Only Way to Stop Stressing over People You Love

Often we excuse ourselves for nagging, worrying, or trying to control others by appealing to how much we want the best for them.

In reality, those tactics are always:

  • counter-productive
  • annoying
  • a waste of our time
  • detrimental to our health

But, waking up to acceptance and compassion…

  • sets us on a path to peace
  • relieves others of the burden of our neurosis
  • saves the air space for something worthwhile

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How to Look Past My Ego’s “Churched-up” Picture of Myself

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Most of us spend a lifetime trying to pretty-up or cover-up our own darkness, so an accurate picture is very difficult to access.

So how can I ever fully see my own darkness?

A good start is to turn around every criticism I have of someone else.

For example:

Whenever I hear myself say or think…

  • “He is so arrogant and selfish.”
  • “She is so self-centered.”
  • “I would never do something like that.”
  • etc.

First: I quit patting myself on the back for being the indisputable standard of perfect character.

Second: Honestly ask “How and when have I been arrogant, self-centered, or clueless?”

Third: Open up to the words of people who may feel the same about me.

Sharing: the Fast-Track to Having Enough

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Our own childhoods most likely reveal…

  • the opposite of this Neale Donald Walsch quote
  • that we absorbed the fears of our parents
  • and learned to cling tightly to our possessions.

But, we can start today…

  • sharing freely
  • believing we cannot out-give God
  • that there is magnificent abundance
  • and enough for everyone.


Go give

Give with a smile

Not a ledger

“Teach your children that they live in a world of magnificent abundance, that there is enough for everyone, and that it is in sharing the most, not in gathering the most, that the most is received.” – Neale Donald Walsch

Before You Barf, Try It

If you think gratitude is a sickening-sweet, bogus, suggested solution to…

  • being a bitch
  • being miserable
  • physical pain
  • depression
  • despair
  • being critical and cynical

…it is because you haven’t done it right.

Real gratitude doesn’t say, “I am grateful but…”

Real gratitude feels the gratitude deep inside before moving on to the next complaint or objection.

Real gratitude can only be felt when we know we are entitled to nothing.

Real gratitude sheds the weight of expectation.

If We Could Un-Edit Ourselves

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“If you want the best the world has to offer

Offer the world your best”

Simple enough

Except when we try and fail

Because we edited and censored ourselves down

To a diluted and compliant version

Of who we thought we should be

Disguising the spice of our mistakes

And hiding the leaven of our pain-kneaded soul


If we had only listened

For the sweet laughter of God

And accepted the soothing patience

Of an understanding Universe

While we were withering away

Worshiping at the alter 

Of our earth-laden opinions 


Anytime we are ready, the world awaits the exchange.

“Wildly and Messily Who We Were Born to Be”

Now and then I must get a healthy dose of Anne Lamott’s raw take on the truth. 

Similar to Anne Lamott, I spent too much time rejecting the wild and messy part of me. Once I gave that wild and messy part a great big hug, the marvelous part came out of hiding…and made it easier for me to love the wild and messy part of the people who were bothering me.

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We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were born to be. – Anne Lamott

Prayer Isn’t…

Prayer isn’t…

  • saying the right words
  • begging in despair

Prayer is…

  • honesty
  • acknowledging the presence of power and wisdom beyond ourselves

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These are the real kind of prayers that set us free to get off our knees and move ahead with confidence.

When we can’t pray this type of honest prayer…

  • first go fix whatever our conscience is telling us to fix
  • then appreciate everything and expect nothing

Dreams Are the Naked Truth

This Judith Orloff quote, “Dreams are the naked truth; get ready for it” got me out of bed this morning to process dreams about feeling trapped in a tragic situation without options. In addition to waking with more compassion for those who live in addiction, with addicts, or without a voice, the dreams also gave me timely insight about myself that I could use today.

My last conscious prayer before falling asleep had been, “Help me to learn tonight in my dreams.”

Step One: Awareness

Instruction is available to teach my sub-conscious mind

Step Two: Acceptance

Insights, although often painful, are accessible when I take time to review and receive the unfiltered, naked truth.

Martians or Magnificence?

When I was a kid I felt so out of place in the world that I prayed Martians would come down and rescue me.

Dr. Judith Orloff is the only other human being I have ever heard admit the same thing.

She was ashamed of her intuitive gifts. I was ashamed of…just about everything.

Later in life Judith owned her magnificence and has made a big difference for me and lots of other people.

That’s what always happens when we refuse to let shame decide who we are.