Moral Confusion?

I admired the raw honesty of a friend who admitted he had secretly wished an accidental death upon his wife and even practiced looking sad if it were ever to happen.

He was like so many of us (who believe divorce is wrong)–wanting out of a relationship but not wanting to be a vow-breaker. I really don’t know how we fail to see the lack of moral superiority and the hypocrisy in such thinking.

As the following quote relates, we may be following the letter of the law, but not quite getting the spirit of the law. I guess that is what Jesus meant by saying, “You have heard about the law that says murder is wrong, but I assure you looking upon a person with contempt is the same as murder.”

If a relationship sucks, in most cases we have choices.

  • We honestly express our concerns and respect the concerns of the other
  • We set boundaries
  • If boundaries are crossed and we have to leave, we leave with forgiveness, and without bitterness

Everything else is madness, more trouble than it is worth, and possibly, evil.

I May Be Yoked to the Wrong Animal

So many times in my life, I was the big heavy, carrying my load about and dumping my complaints about the load and the injustice of it all upon anyone who would listen.

Now, my complaints about my heavy burden trigger a reminder.

If I am feeling like my load is unbearable or too much to carry, I might need to look over and see to whom or what I am hooked up or if I am hooked up at all.

If someone promises to make my life easier by taking “a load off” that definitely should be happening. If it is not happening, I may be trying to go it alone. Or, I may have picked up the wrong load. And, I wasn’t built for either.

Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden…for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

This obviously has spiritual application. Yet, it also can be applied to setting boundaries for ourselves and our partners at home and at work. Playing the martyr never works.

Evil or Not?

Yes, there is evil

Yet, there is also hunger

We easily call someone evil

Who goes after what we want

When they are only as hungry as we are

Or we pronounce someone evil

Whose pain makes them forget we are hungry too

(When we have done the same)

Or we have condemned one whose path blocks ours

Awareness of shared hungers makes us better

In war

In relationships

In business

I am less evil

When I am able to recognize the evil that is in me

In anyone who forgets the bigger purpose

Of walking each other home

Be Better, Be Nicer, Be More Than We Were Yesterday

It doesn’t have to be about climbing mountains, running Marathons, or winning wars. Conquering ourselves is always the real and the bigger prize.

The chances will come to us today. Chances to:

  • Push ourselves a little harder (without complaining)
  • Support others a little longer (without resentment)
  • Learn a little more about life (without judging)

That’s were the illusive happiness lies–at the top of the maturity matterhorn.

Reading this book encouraged me along my own “Matterhorn path.” The manner Karl Marlantes illuminates the Vietnam war, how it raged outside and in, pulled me upward and alongside him through the jungle; made me want to be better and wiser even in the worst of circumstances.

Even When We Are In Pain

Even when we are in pain

There are so many reasons to wait it out

And to not give up

Because everything

(Even our never-ending pain) eventually comes to an end

And the end will always bring other things with it

Important things that have been patiently waiting

For us to finally enjoy them

I have noticed that when any of us suffer we tend to withdraw our attention from anything outside of the narrow place of pain we inhabit. We draw the blinds, reject company, and listen to nothing but our own mourning. Unfortunately, after we have given our pain it’s due respect, the only way to release pain-killing endorphins is to look beyond it–into a wide world of beauty.

If We Need a Mantra

We might say we don’t need a mantra

It would not help

While an unhelpful mantra

Continues to loop in our head

About how screwed up people are

The world is

Or how we are miserable


Or somehow irredeemable

Not just John Green or Jesus

But also Frederick Backman says

(about A Man Called Ove)

You are more helpful than you realize

More loved and more forgiven

And you were never alone

There are so many of us out there

Who need the mantra