I Don’t Fit In

We are in good company

When we believe we don’t fit in

But I didn’t know that growing up

And you probably didn’t either

So I tried to hide my confusion and

And the pain of loneliness

Which made me even more awkward.

But now that I recognize you

And all the others who were hiding too

I have very good company

In a world that feels more like home

Than any place I ever knew

Pain Disposal

Most of us would not attempt to put recyclables in the garbage disposal.

Obviously, this wouldn’t get rid of the items and it would ruin the mechanism.

But, when it comes to dealing with pain from our past (that constantly recycles through our minds) we often take a tragically similar approach, and then, wonder why our bodies and minds are wrecked.

A sensible pain disposal plan might be:

Step One: Make a list of past conflicts, disappointments, lies, stupid stuff, and mistakes that still cause dis-ease (or wake us up at two in the morning).

Step Two: Fix (or apologize for) what we can.

Step Three: Let go of the rest. (We’re human.)

Step Four: Give thanks. (Imperfection is who we are.) Live in peace.

Original Post 2014

There Are Always Three Choices

1. Mourn the past (If only…)

2. Long for the future (When I finally…)

3. Make the most of the present (What is life asking of me right now?)

For me, this starts with replacements:

1. A smile for a frown (Yes!)

2. A laugh for a tear (Whatever!)

3. A challenge for fear (Bring it on!)

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you have chosen it. Always work with it, not against it…this will miraculously transform your whole life.” – Eckhart Tolle

Original Post: July 2018

Neutralizing Night Terrors

I have found some (almost embarrassing) quick cures for middle of the night panic attacks and can’t-get-to-sleep anxiety:

Inspired by Neil Gaiman’s The Ocean at the End of the Lane in which the seven-year-old protagonist calms his fears by reciting nursery rhymes and lyrics to childhood songs, I have started reciting Psalm 23 (“The Lord is My Shepherd, I have everything I need…”), memorized poems, rhymes, and fun songs. Almost inevitably I fall to sleep with more courage and perspective.

Formerly, I counseled others to just get their minds on something else. Yeah, right, Much easier said than done.

Little did I know that something much stronger was needed.

Nursery rhymes.

Image result for mantra quotes
Image result for nursery rhyme quotes

Original Post: Sept 2019

Better Priorities

“I’m here to learn more than to earn.” – Julianna Margulies

I appreciated this book more than I thought I would–especially Julianna’s explanation for why she turned down $27 mil to leave ER; “I’m here to learn more than to earn.”

I also appreciated her humility, her struggle to find the right priorities, and her account of repairing the painful relationships she had had with her parents.

So nice to listen and to learn from others. I can’t think of a more noble priority.

Anxiety Free?

Have you seen enough of life (and HBO) to notice how wealth, fame, power, unbelievable good looks, or an insane level of talent cannot free you from anxiety? Have you noticed that sometimes the possession of those things just amplifies anxiety and debunks the If-I-just-had-(fill in the blank)-I’d-be-happy myth?

What if we didn’t have to worry about losing things such as money, time, plans, youth, relationships, or possessions? What if we could experience amazing peace and freedom from anxiety by knowing we are enough? What if we just did what we could to make the most of who we are?

Hasn’t life been asking us to do that all along?

Inspired by a post from August 2018

Unless I Recall the Pain

Unless I recall the pain of being unseen 

On the days I felt a failure

In work or in love

When life rushed on without me

As I hustled for my worthiness

*****

Unless I recall that pain

I will forget to honor without judgement 

With words, kindnesses and silent prayers

The countless others

Who feel the same

*****

Unless I recall the pain

Original Post 2017