Do Everyone a Favor and Keep My Ego out of It

These truths are self evident (to the thoughtful):

  • Our opinions are merely “junk mail” until they are requested.

  • People who know us can predict the content of  our “lectures”( and translate them to “Blah, blah, blah”).

  • Appreciating someone and showing that appreciation by stopping, listening, and keeping my ego out of it, trumps everything else I might say or do.


Best Argument for Listening to Someone You Don’t Agree with

For many years I didn’t get along well with bosses. I pretended. I talked behind their backs. I thought they were idiots.

Unfortunately for me, they were the people who could tell me the truth about myself.

Saying “What can I do to fix this?” would have been much more effective than dissing their opinions. Arguing and defending my own perspective is what I chose to do instead. It got me nowhere.

When I finally got humble enough to see myself from the outside, my world rearranged itself into peace and success.

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“Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.”

I Am So Annoyed…or Is That Annoying?

Annoying Stuff that We Don’t Like about Others, but Do Ourselves:

1) Try to “fix” everyone

2) Blame others for our unhappiness

3) Cling to, and complain about stuff (without doing anything about it)

4) Hustle for worthiness and acceptance from others (instead of finding it within)

Quick Fix Tips:

1) Drop our own agenda for other people and just be present for them. 

2) Seek out a coach who will tell us the truth about ourselves. 

3) Reject fear. Study the brave.

4) Honor and value ourselves.

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Important Times to Play

My challenged nephew has reminded me that being goofy, making up a stupid song, quoting a comedian, doing a silly dance, and laughing out loud at my own seriousness are effective recovery techniques, especially when…

  1. I feel mean

  2. I want something that isn’t good for me

  3. I feel overwhelmed

  4. I am disappointed

  5. I am sad

  6. I am afraid

  7. I am jealous or angry at someone

  8. I feel wronged

  9. Things don’t make sense

  10. I have a resting bitch face

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My Scale Often Needs Calibration

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Some days I measure myself as hot stuff, when, indeed, I am clueless.

Some days I measure myself as worthless, when, indeed, I did my best and learned a lesson.

Sometimes I measure someone else as an A**hole, when, indeed, that person was facilitating my future.

Sometimes I arrogantly measure myself as more valuable than others, when, indeed, others have been holding me up.

And, then, there were those times, when I weighed myself in as a total disappointment, but time would tell a different story.

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As long as I don’t put too much confidence in my own “scale,” I can feel big and feel small and learn from both.

The Girl Who Escaped ISIS

I didn’t expect this book to hit me between the eyes and challenge my status quo, but it did.

It starts off slow, but gradually lifts up a standard of courage, and somberly reminds that the Universe will come to the aid of the brave.

Only nineteen, but stubborn enough to reject defeat, Farida said, “Fear blinds us to possibilities.” 

Locked in a container in the middle of an ISIS war camp for many hopeless months (and vain escape attempts ending in brutal beatings), Farida discovered a hidden door they had previously overlooked. Then, using that door, executed a risky plan that saved her life and that of five other tortured and malnourished girls.

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Now, anytime I am tempted to chicken out or make excuses, I will remember her example.

In My Hand I Hold…Only This Moment

“…only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand–and melting like a snowflake.” –Francis Bacon

Sometimes I am shocked into considering the ridiculous brevity of my life by…looking up at the vast universe or by looking back into the history of generations of people who have already lived and died. Sometimes it is a brutal confrontation with death in a dream or in an unexpected tragedy. But, when this happens, my life takes on the more noble qualities of:

  • a sense of urgency to live fully today
  • a sensitivity about what really matters
  • a renewed commitment to live with courage, compassion, and surrender

I can make the sparkle and the melting count today. I can do what I was born to do with cheerful abandon.

Or, I can fret, fear, despair, complain, and squander what little I have left.

(encore post from July 2014)

When “Caring” Backfires


I am following a “caring script,” doing what I think is expected of me.


I want you to think I am caring.

Strings attached.

I will care for you, when, and only if, you do something for me in return.


I am being “caring” because I want you to know that I am superior in character or knowledge.


Caring must be done for its own sake.

When this is not the case, we are not doing anyone any favors.