For decades I waited for someone who would give me momentum: someone who would bellow out a big yes and get me rolling over all my obstacles.
That approach worked well.
No wonder I was so depressed and disappointed! Life was like navigating a blazing desert in a minefield!
But, now I fuel my own momentum by eliminating:
complaints about my lack of opportunity
comparisons with people who appear to have it easy
begging and pleading
anger at obstacles
I traded in that nasty regimen for:
a big smile toward the future
a hearty laugh at obstacles
a sincere word of gratitude for how far I have come
appreciation for every experience
“I can’t take any more of this!” is the whiner part of me calling the shots and setting out-dated limits.
If I want to be more than what I am now, I cannot be offended by the demand for more or the insinuation that I am
Blowing past my own limits is a refusal to whine.
I refuse to whine about:
what life brings
commitments I have made
projects I began and grew tired of
work that needs to be done
using my gifts for others
obstacles in my path to improvement
Still round the corner, there may wait, a new road or a secret gate. –J.R.R. Tolkien
Second best reason not to give up:
Strength of character is rare and sexy.
Third best reason not to give up:
Many of the things we love most would not be available–unless others had refused to give up.
Fourth best reason not to give up:
Courage and tenacity
kicks our lives up to a new level and transforms us into the kind of people we admire.
Fifth best reason not to give up:
Failures may be embarrassing, inefficient, and painful but they are not as painful as living below our potential.
Still round the corner
There may wait
A new road
Or a secret gate
Some people have no need to be told, “Be Careful.” They
will be careful because that’s who they are: always watching to make sure everyone else is careful, following the rules, and being efficient. If we call after them with “Be careful!” we are wasting our breath. They are thinking, “If only everyone was as careful as me!”
So, instead, I tell my husband, “See people!” because it reminds him to be a friend instead of just a bean counter or an evaluator of everyone else’s behavior.
Yet, he certainly has to remind me to be careful–because I am so busy seeing people that I forget to watch the road.
Radically different approaches.
The world needs both.
“I like the old way better.”
“Of course you do.”
Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.
We need inordinate self-confidence to face drastic change without inner trembling.
– Eric Hoffer,
The Ordeal of Change
The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. -Eric Hoffer
Resisting gratitude comes natural.
I say, “I am grateful, but–“
One extra little word that says volumes about my character: including “I have snuggled up with entitlement and fallen asleep.”
I must add the most difficult arithmetic to my skill set if I desire to multiply my happiness.
“Have you ever made a grape?”
“You know. Tiny sweets in edible packages
Stuck on the end of intricate branches
Growing in clusters on thickened vines
Sun-cooked ready for food or wine.
The outsides are tough and the insides soft–“
“But, wait–how do people get them off?”
“It’s so cool. Attached on the end of each branch is a tool!
It simply releases the grape with a delicate pull,
While protecting and preserving the glistening skin
Until–Voila! There’s a consumer’s mouth to pop it in.”
“But never mind, your face is so pained with questions.
Forget I even mentioned that impossible invention.”
If our kids, family, and friends roll their eyes at us, chances are:
We repeat ourselves too often.
Our words and actions have become predictable or monotonous.
We are resisting learning new things.
We complain about technology, the weather, politicians, and other things we cannot control.
The eye roll is only one indicator of irrelevancy. Other indicators are much more costly.
Where healthy long term relationships (even with ourselves) are concerned, remaining relevant requires work.
This Mark Cuban quote reminds us to embrace:
Our complaints will not stop progress. Reading:
School never ends. Listening to bright people in every field:
Accessibility to genius has never been easier. Asking more questions vs. spouting opinions:
The best people don’t assume they are the smartest in the room.
When people let us down:
1. Refuse to label or talk about them as the enemy (they are just as valuable
and fallible as we are).
2. Pause, breathe, and look ahead, past the temporary pain.
3. Reject self-pity.
4. Communicate our boundaries and
Now, we can enter into a world that we have co-created, a world that has belonged to us all along, a world of courage and overcoming, a world that heroes have already demonstrated can be claimed as our own.
Hello new life!
Original Post 2013