Three Choices

There are always three choices:

1. Mourn the past (If only…)

2. Long for the future (When I finally…)

3. Make the most of the present (What is life asking of me right now?)

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For me, this starts with replacements:

1. A smile for a frown (Yes!)

2. A laugh for a tear (Whatever!)

3. A challenge for fear (Bring it on!)

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you have chosen it. Always work with it, not against it..this will miraculously transform your whole life.” – Eckhart Tolle

Perfect Paranoia

 

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...unless we want to be paranoid about people finding out about all the things we have done wrong.

A little mercy for offenders (even politicians) makes us easier people to live with.

Paranoia (along with subsequent deceit, hiding, and rationalizing) is often a sign that we have been making ourselves feel better about ourselves by condemning others.

Judge and feel judged.

“Perfect” paranoia for perfect pointers of fingers.

The Scariest Things (Encore)

The scariest thing about depression is how it feels like a permanent state.
The scariest thing about my life is how I almost gave in to that feeling.
The scariest thing about today is how much I would have missed if I had.

chaos

So glad I didn’t miss “the Second Act.”

The Second Act is where the scary, chaotic monster of “the First Act” transforms into an angel.
The scariest thing is how inexplicably it happens.

But, what really scares me the most…is that you won’t believe me.

Freedom that Doesn’t Leave Us Empty

I hope it has never happened to you, but following the novelty of freedom after quitting a job, leaving a relationship, retiring, or, as in Mandela’s case, getting out of jail, comes the “what-do-I-do-now?” stage.

Misusing our freedom by allowing ourselves to over-indulge for extended periods of time, or to become lazy will inevitably steal the joy of freedom.

Funneling our freedom into making a difference for others is real freedom.

That’s the freedom for which we were born.

For the Lovesick

Before deciding we can’t live without someone, this quote might be worth considering:

Why we want someone is a complicated matter.

So often I wanted a certain someone for what they did for my social status (ego), my biological needs (lust), or my lack in the maturity and character department (insecurity). This insightful quote by Simon Cowell shows a side I haven’t seen of him…and admittedly, of me (at times).

The best thing I ever did for myself was admit what it was I really wanted, enabling me to take the reins of my own happiness out of the hands of someone else.

Feeling Unfairly Overlooked?

I spent years as a disgruntled employee, feeling unjustly slighted, before I even tiptoed close to the possibility that it might be my fault.

I now wish I had made sure I wasn’t part of the problem before I accused so many people of evil.

The same was true for the times I was dumped or I felt ignored in relationships.

There was more to the story.

There is always more to the story.

It’s called…their side.

Some of the reasons we don’t know their side are:

  • they are afraid to tell us

  • we don’t listen and respond well when they try to tell us

  • candor (with ourselves and others) is a very rare skill that few have mastered

So, instead of wasting my time retelling my sob story to myself and anyone who will listen, I started learning how to fix the parts that were my fault.

It’s pretty amazing how fast my life got better.

 

 

“Kindsight”

I’ve posted this quote from http://www.notsalmon.com before, but thought it might be time for a repeat.

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Stop the blame-and-shame-train with “What was I learning?”

Otherwise, it’s not just me that will suffer.

I will beat others up with my…

  • repetitive monologues

  • intolerance of others’ mistakes

  • destructive judgements and projections

What To Do when Every Path Looks Uninviting

When all you feel is pain…

When life is so absurd you cannot believe it is really happening to you…

When every path looks uninviting…

Here are the instructions:

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 3:

You are now entering the territory of heroes and legends.