Living “Palms Up”

Preparing people for depositions, attorney, Bob Goff instructs his clients to sit with their palms up. He maintains that following this simple instruction works to prevent defensiveness, reacting in anger, or tensing up when stakes are high. Good advice…not only for depositions, but for life.

Rather than approaching life with clenched fists, open palms signifies a non-threatening posture of acceptance and openness.

A palms-up morning routine of meditation is now my reminder to offer up all that I have for good, trusting that what I have will be multiplied to meet the pressing needs around me. By doing so, I replace the feeling of overwhelm with a feeling of confidence in the abundance of the Universe.

Here’s to a palms-up kind of day! Cheers!

If You Are Wondering

If you are wondering

What your life is about

Or if your life has been a waste

Or if you ever had anything at all to offer

If you are wondering 

What you should do

Or if it will even matter

Let me just say

That very small things can make

A very big difference

A good deed brightens a dark world

 

If you are wondering “what deed?”

Or where you would get the energy or the money

Start smaller

A text, a call, a smile, a prayer, a compliment

A kindness that someone never expected

A good deed brightens a dark world

Today

Anyone

Any time

Right now

Are They Evil or Just Constipated?

Humans are mean, uncooperative, or difficult for lots of reasons other than being “evil.” (It’s important to remember that when hurt, or when on social media.)

Sometimes they have been scarred by evil.

Sometimes they are blinded by fear.

Sometimes they are just as prone to screwing-up as I am (when hurting).

When I remember to take this into consideration, tolerance and compassion come easier.

 People who are not afraid to be tolerant and compassionate are the type of people I want to be around.

That’s All I Need to Know?

This Keats quote has more punch to it when his circumstances are factored in; dead at twenty-five after years of poverty and painful illness. In spite of that, Keats lived with good spirits, focused on the beauty in the world and the truth revealed through that beauty.

Sounds way too simple…until I read something moving, or see a beautiful child or a stunning sunset, or am the recipient of an unexpected kindness. At that point, the meaning of life is distilled into such simple purity that I understand what Keats was getting at.

Or, when meaningless cruelty, inexplicable suffering, or aborted happiness knocks me off my feet, and I realize I don’t know what I thought I knew, then, Keats’ reminder that I really never knew is a lifeline to sanity.

Finding Our Lost Abilities

So, I had this dream about heaven. I now have these lingering memories of what it feels like to have…

  • pervasive love and acceptance
  • profound peace
  • intuitive communication (telepathic, no need for words)

Watching animal communicator, Anna Breytenbach work with animals, or reading about the Hawaii healing art, Ho’oponopono, reminds me of that Heaven dream. Some think that communicating without words is a natural ability that humans are born with, yet have forgotten to use. Love, acceptance, and peace certainly tend to fall in that category, as well.

I can’t think of a better pursuit than that of recovering those lost abilities.

Image result for ho'oponopono

Image result for ho'oponopono

Prescription for Getting UnStuck

My friend who was on mental-health leave from a brutal work-environment told me that his counselor encouraged him to make a list of daily activities such as brushing his teeth, taking a shower, and getting dressed so that he could check them off as accomplishments (if he managed to do them). Seemed ridiculous but it helped.

Every time we check something off a list, our body releases endorphins (natural pain killers). When we are paralyzed with pain, doubt, fear, or disappointment, pain-killing is the first, critical step.

Pythagoras and my friend’s counselor seemed to understand the simple formula of:

  • One foot in front of the other
  • One step at a time
  • Bite-size pieces
  • Just get dressed

…as a path to the impossible.

(Turn on the computer and write one word worked for me today.)

I’m cheering for your “impossible.”

No Thanks. I’m Good.

Neil Gaiman’s delightful short story, Calendar Tales, contains a vignette about a woman who finds a genie in a lamp. When the genie asks for her three wishes, she says, “I’m good.” Eventually, the genie gives up asking, but stays around, settles in, and becomes her partner. One day she asks him if he has any wishes. He says, “I’m good.”

Relationship 101 lessons:

  1. Contentment, self-reliance, and confidence are great for attracting the perfect partner.
  2. There is nothing sweeter than a good relationship with ourselves…and, then, someone to share it with. 

Sometimes, I wonder at the richness of my life. I am not wealthy or famous or young and beautiful. Yet, I have what I always wanted: a clear conscience, people to love, and work that makes a difference.

Finding Lost Treasure

This was true for me.

Although, I am aware that many never face the obstacle of self-worth, for some of us, finally believing we have innate, unalterable value is a major find; buried treasure that sets us free!

No need to prove our value by achieving something.

No need to prove our value by proving someone else wrong.

No need to worry about what strangers perceive our worth to be.

No need to compare our worth to that of any celebrity, billionaire, politician, artist, intellectual, sports hero, family member, or ex.

No need to fret about being underappreciated by the arrogant, self-centered, or heartless.

No need to pretend to be someone other than who we are.

Now, there are storehouses of resources: ample reserves of time and energy…to make a difference.

I Pledge Allegiance to Living Stress-Free

I pledge allegiance to living stress-free

Remembering worry doesn’t work for me

And neither does angry fretting (unfortunately)

I pledge allegiance to living stress-free

Because controlling people and things 

(I don’t control) is the job of Kings

Not me.

Truthfully

My worry and stress never helped one single soul

Only pulled me deep into a sucking hole

Where there was no benefit for me or anyone

Just an embarrassing waste of adrenalin*

*Some of us, who insist upon worrying, believe, erroneously, that the opposite of worrying is not caring. However, this is not the case. Often, surrendering is the only wise way to effectively care…and much more efficient.

Impulse to Give

There have been times that I have had an impulse to give and have hesitated too long, or tried to ignore the impulse altogether. I have always regretted it. Usually, fear was at the root of my decision.

When I felt I should give a compliment, I may have feared being overshadowed. Will they think they are better than me?

When I felt I should give encouragement, it might have been the fear of rejection. Will they question my motive?

When I felt compelled to offer support, it was probably a fear of failure. Who do I think I am? What do I have to offer?

When I felt an impulse to forgive, it was a fear of someone getting off the hook too easily. If I forgive them, they won’t get what they deserve.

When I felt I should give money, it was the fear of scarcity. Can I afford it? What if I need this in the future?

Related image

None of my fears were grounded. I could not out give the Universe.

Today, I will give without fear.